Being a single chick at Penn State main ain’t no walk in the park. Every weekend, new adventures ensue and I find myself curious about what type of dudes I’ll be meeting. Insert mandatory “I had no Professor Oak or pokedex to help me through this shit” line here.
I’ve met an immeasurable amount of dudes, and I needed a strategy to quickly figure out what their personalities were like. If I wasn’t able to make a quick assessment about you, you would just rejoin the masses of Penn State boys I know I met, but can’t put my finger on where. One of my favorite ways to figure out what type of dude you are (and what type of night I’m in for) is through what your favorite type of music is. Below, I’ve compiled what you’re revealing about yourself when you tell me what your favorite artist is.
The Zac Brown Band
You’re the rugged individual whose beard once received a compliment from Chuck Norris himself. Some would describe you as more American than a group of bald eagles playing baseball on the fourth of July. You’re definitely a mama’s boy and you might have a dog (fingers crossed). You can dance, but only when you have to. You love being outdoors; maybe in the woods, on the beach, or out on some boat somewhere. You love a good beer, but if whiskey’s available, that’s probably what you’re drinking. Getting girls probably isn’t the first thing on your mind; you just want to sit back, play some games and hang out with your guy friends. I know I can rely on you for a good time, but if I’m feeling lazy, I’ll probably pass on that all-uphill mountain climbing date you really want to take me on.
You’re the type of guy I’d find at some hole in the wall pool bar that I stopped in only to use the bathroom. Being the thoughtful type, you probably have a completely different view of the world than most people. You’re at your A-game meeting a pretty lady in smaller bars where you can woo her with your intellect and passion. Your drink of choice is probably a white Russian, the dude abides. Rarely out with the intention of snagging some strange, you let the night do its thing. If I feel like having some interesting conversation and want to know Fleetwood Mac’s entire discography, you’re the guy I’m looking for that night. You won’t try to get me to dance, and I’m ok with that, because you’re probably pretty awful at it. You’re the kind of guy who would take me to some awesome rock concerts, but you’d also be bringing all of that emotional baggage you probably carry around.
In high school, you were a weird mixture of angsty and goofy, and its carrying over into college. You’re the guy who draws all over everyone and steals shit that no one will notice is missing anyway. You probably try drugs sometimes. You definitely black out sometimes and wake up in places you’ve never been before, but who cares, it’s a hilarious story. You don’t feel the need to impress a single person that hasn’t impressed you, so no time is wasted worrying over girls unless one in particular really catches your eye. Your drink of choice is whatever will get you drunk the fastest. You’re the kind of guy who can keep me laughing, but you’re also the guy who’d forget to pick me up from the airport on our one-year anniversary. What’s your age again?
You ain’t worried about nothin’. You love to dance, and you’re probably pretty good at it. You rap along to every rap song that comes on at the club, even if you don’t know every word. Getting chicks is usually on the schedule for the night, and you always score. Quantity over quality is your motto. You’re pretty thug, or at least you think you are. Ciroc and Grey Goose for dayyys. You’re the guy who throws pregames and sometimes you need to be carried TO the bar. You like when parties are bumping with the ratio on point. You rolled up to this joint with 17 chicks and you’re leaving with someone new. You’re probably from a city or a place close to the city, and you love the fast life. Dating you would be a lot like dating a rabid animal; it’s fun and exciting at first, but it gets old quick and I probably caught something.
Are you from Pittsburgh? Because apparently it’s mandatory to be a Wiz fan if you’re from anywhere near western PA. You love hanging out in a nice, chill, smoky environment. You like to party and dance, but you thrive in small social situations where you can just vibe out with your friends. You’re the definition of chill; it’s almost scary how little you care about a lot of things. Weed is your drug of choice and you roll blunts bigger than King Kong’s fingers. Dating you would be awesome because you’re open to new ideas and know where the best food in town is, but I’d probably have to bail before you made me watch yet another episode of Planet Earth with you.
Almost naked girls dancing in paint?!?! What’s not to love about EDM! You love huge ragers and you love alcohol. You want the music so loud that God is calling the cops on you from heaven. Drugs? Yes please. It’s all about the experience and living life to the fullest with you. It doesn’t matter what you’re drinking, as long as you’re drinking. Meeting girls is totally part of the experience for you, but you’re not that bummed if you don’t end up getting laid. You mighhhtttt be a little bit of a tool. If you like EDM, it tells me you have a pretty short attention span and you jump between habits and girls pretty quickly. You are the coolest guy you know. Dating you would be fun on the weekends, but shower beers and 9 am classes don’t really mix. Try dating of-age freshmen, they’ll be more your speed.
So there you have it bros, the cold hard truth about what your favorite artists tell girls about your personality.
Music festival pic via Shutterstock.
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