‘Transformers 4’ looks good but it probably needs more robot genitals

Transformer penis. You’ve thought about it more than once. I’ve thought it about it three times already and it’s still morning.

With Transformers 4 blasting into theaters this weekend, fans have Autobots and Decepticons on the brain. Well, if men think about sex about a thousand times a day and we’re also thinking about Transformers 4, it stands to reason Transformer penis would cross our mind.

These dudes might be thinking about it a little too much but let’s hear them out. They’ve even suggested how to work Optimus Prime penis into the next movie.

The genitals could start out as an “Easter egg” early in the film, which only die-hard Transformers fans would notice. Designers could also easily CGI Transformer penises into various scenes from Transformers 3 for a re-released version of the film not unlike George Lucas’ Star Wars Special Edition.

I don’t own any of the Transformer movies but if someone sneaks CGI penis into the Transformers 4 DVD I might drop down some cash just to check it out. I’d like to make another suggestion though — drop it into the after credits sequence.

You know how Marvel is always putting extra scenes and teasers at the end of their movies? How about some Starscream shaft before people leave the theater? No one, and I mean no one, would leave the theater at the end of Transformers 4 if there is even a chance of seeing balls the size of Toyotas.

“Wait, sit down, I heard there is robot dick. Why are you leaving?!?”

[via Break]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.