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The World Is Ending and You’re Trying to Save What?!

By / 03.07.12

LeBron James's Mini-Man Purse

You'd think he tote along some dignity and respect inside it, but it probably just includes Propecia and the first book of the “Twilight” series.

Wiz Khalifa's Bong

Wiz is surely going down with a blaze of glory, but since his matte blue Louis Vuitton-check glass was stolen at a show in 2010, we can only speculate as to which device the world's biggest stoner will end the world with.

Rex Ryan's Snacks

Twinkies, ho-hos, jelly beans, his own words, his wife's toes…

The 'Jersey Shore' Cast's Spray Tanner

Don't forget the mini baby bottle for Snooki… err, we mean Snooki's pending spawn.

Ryan Braun's Pee Cup

Just as long as the local FedEx closes early ahead of the Apocalypse.

Dick Vitale's Duke Jersey

With the end nigh, there's no need for him to attempt mask his Blue Devil love any longer.

Mark Zuckerberg's Fireplace Poker

Yes, poking was inspired by a real thing. Yes, the Zuckster's Facebook colleagues are getting sick of it. Yes, he's taking it with him.

Tim Tebow

He's saving himself, of course — and maybe the masses too.

Chet Haze's Instagram Account

Tom Hanks' rapping offspring can't stop tweeting out ridiculous Instagram photos of himself, shirtless, with some blonde sprawled on the bed behind him. If he had to choose between the girl and the Instagram to save, we're pretty sure he'd be snapping faux-antique pics of himself — and just himself — deep into eternity.


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