Entertainment
by MattJ on July 19, 2012

The half-hour long, unscripted show premiered this past Sunday at 11. It's slated in for eight episodes that directly follow ‘Breaking Bad’ every week. What more could you ask for? The full first episode is even available to stream online at AMC's website.

Set in the tiny northwest Georgia town of Ringgold, ‘Small Town Security’ gives the world knowledge of the day-to-day happenings at JJK Security & Investigations. Believe it or not, what’s going on at the only security company in Catoosa County is not what makes the show appealing. The family run business is filled with quirky and unpredictable people, stories, and surprises.

The show kicks off with some office banter about who should be cleaning the piss off the toilet seat when Secretary Crista Stephens feels she shouldn’t have to.

“If I ever do hit the toilet, which is rare, but yeah every now and then ya know it strays to the left for whatever reason, I always clean it up,” answered Office Manager Brian Taylor.

Chivalry does still exist.

The office then goes into debate about why guys lean forward with their hand on the wall while taking a piss, and Irwan Kopland, a.k.a. “The Captain” lets everyone know why he will never sit down.

“The Lieutenant,” Dennis Croft, leads the actual security side of the company. He takes his military background to work every day to make JJK Security “an elite force, the epitome of command,” while smoking Black & Milds.

Even though Irwan is the Captain and Croft the Lieutenant, the real star of the show is his Kopland’s wife, Joan, who is known as “The Chief.”

Cigar smoking and with a need for nudie mags, Joan is the beloved and unquestioned boss. She always had the desire to be, “either a police officer or a celebrity. I’ve always had a quest for attention.”

Joan’s lifelong goal was to be famous. She began by recording songs at age 14, went on to have a role in a Spanish movie or two, but settled for her second passion: law enforcement. After failing to win the vote for sheriff, Joan decided to open up JJK Security & Investigations.

Thankfully for all of us Joan didn’t give up her dreams to be on camera. Always accompanied by her ankle humping Chihuahua, Lamb Chop, she volunteered to host a show on the Ringgold public access channel, and was killing it, until creative differences between her and station owner Judy O’Neal did the show in.

Judy didn’t like that Joan said vagina on the air.

However, three years have passed and Joan decided she wants to get back to public access dominance. A controversial revelation about one of the main characters may help her do that.

What makes “Small Town Security” so good is that how the characters are blissfully unaware of their own ridiculousness without trying. Executive producers Ken Druckerman and Banks Tarver make you care about what happens next in a concept that is extremely hard to take seriously. Not to mention that it’s also hilarious.

Sit on your ass for a half hour longer after ‘Breaking Bad’ this week and enjoy ‘Small Town Security’. But don’t do it without watching the first episode of the series here. You will be shocked and maybe a little scared, but you will not be disappointed.

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