Way to go, Nickelodeon. Way to take a giant, steamy, morning-after-General Tsos dump on the greatest animated series of my childhood, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Rather than actually investing in a little production value, you vomited out graphics that look like somethings from "The Sims." Raphael, Michaelangelo, Leonardo, and Donatello sound like Disneyland parade characters rather than a badass quartet of pizza-eating, ninjitsu-trained turtle humanoids. And what the hell happened to "cowabunga"? Please, Michael Bay, for the sake of my childhood, don't squander the opportunity to make the movie better than this toned-down garbage. Take a look for yourselves.

H/T: Gamma Squad