After a court-mandated sabbatical and a live comedy tour/concert -- which was rather unspectacular -- Conan O'Brien is finally back doing what he does best: being a goofy bastard with the most maniacal hair late-night television has ever seen. It's hard to believe that a talent like O'Brien hasn't found a home on a major network but it's also hard to believe that a mercenary hasn't rid the world of Jimmy Fallon, so I guess anything is unfortunately possible. But, perhaps this is a blessing in disguise for both Conan and his new network, TBS. Ever since watching the George Lopez Show overtook dentistry as the highest cause of suicide in the country, Ted Turner's station has been under fire. So what better way to fight that fire than with a head full of it?

Tonight is the start of Conan's new show, "Conan" (must have taken a stadium full of branding experts to come up with that name), so I figured there's no better time than right now to pay homage to all of the ugliest redheads who have made it. I mean, these people have overcome the most insurmountable odds (and oftentimes the accompanying flurry of freckle leprosy) to prosper. People have already done the 101 hottest red heads, and that's great, but we all know being a hot redhead is like being an endangered species: doors are going to open because you are so rare. But let's just say that other redheads probably consider the people we are listing today as sc*m.

Feel free to add more baffling cases of people overcoming gingerness in the comments.

Conan O'Brien

You know you're one ugly mother f*cker when your look-a-like is a pale and malnourished red headed woman...

Tilda Swinton

...and vice versa.

Carrot Top

If this man were the only redhead on the planet, someone could actually tell me that theologians have concluded his hair is actually Satan's fire and I would believe them. If, of course, I believed in that hocus pocus in the first place.

Shaun White

Carrot's younger brother constantly claims that his success is the reason he has no friends in the sport of snowboarding. Yeah, and your over-sized dick is the reason no chicks want to f*ck you, right?

Molly Ringwald

Sweet? You've got to be kidding me. When I look at her head all I can think about is carving a f*cking pumpkin. Her success in the '80s is mind-crippling. 

David Caruso

You could get pretty f*cked up -- maybe even hospitalized -- if you watched "CSI: Miami" and took a drink every time Caruso used his sunglasses as a prop or muttered some ridiculous line (in his best Batman voice) poking fun at how the deceased person died. 

Bill Walton

His looks, overall demeanor, and candor have played a crucial role in making me the hateful prick I am today. My father thanks you, Bill.

Seth Green

Some people always play heroes and some play villains but Seth Green, he just plays a douche — a compelling one at that.

Kathy Griffin

There are shemales that are more f*cking attractive than this b*tch... and tragic deaths that are more funny.

Kate Flannery

Something tells me her life mimics her character on "The Office." Booze has got to be the only way she gets through.

Michael Oliver

Just as I suspected, all of that "Problem Child" money seems to have been pissed away.

Ron Howard

Red hair, bald, alien-shaped head, and yet, he still remains the handsomest Howard brother.

Danny Bonaduce

Only the confidence that comes with red-haired, child-fame douchery could make anyone think taking their shirt off at a public event is a class move.

Wynonna Judd

A tale as old as time, a song as old as rhyme / There's no beauty in this beast...

Peppermint Patty

Yea, so we needed one more to round-out the list. Who better than the b*tch who constantly undermines my boy Charlie Brown?