It has always been a mystery to me -- probably because I am ignorant -- how it is scientifically possible for the exact same individuals, a man and a woman, to produce one good-looking child, and then have those same juices, eggs, and genetics clash for a second time only to spit out an immense disaster of human flesh. I understand that the world has an unlimited supply of ugly mother f*ckers, and that there doesn't necessarily need to be any rhyme or reason behind any of it, but the ugly sibling is a baffling phenomena nonetheless, one that isn't just relegated to the families of common folk.
It's refreshing to know that this sort of thing even plagues the famous f*cks in Hollywood and it does so on an elevated level. In most celebrity cases, the ugly duckling is even beyond surgical repair, so that's hysterical. But what really torches my ass is that the majority of these unsightly brothers and sisters only seem to get a shot at fame because their better-looking sibling already made it.
Today we want to put these coattail-riding and vomit-inducing siblings on their own pedestal; below is our list of celebrity siblings who may or may not have been punched in the face at birth. We spared you all the families with nothing but ugly children, like the Culkins, and left it to kin that are exact opposites in the looks department. If you can think of any others who deserve to be noted, make a comment.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: Ron Howard
This is a bit of a stretch now since Ron himself is no Richie Cunningham, but given the superiority of Clint's unfortunate appearance, in comparison, Ron is a prince.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: Matt Dillon
It is no wonder why he excels as Johnny Drama; his character is based on his entire life already.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: River Phoenix
River may be long gone but the hair lip lives on... (he whispers) the hair lip lives on.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: Dennis Quaid
Quaid is proof that God enjoys a good laugh.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: John Cusack
Her face looks like a compilation of fried chicken gizzards.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: Mark Wahlberg
If it weren't for Danny "the primate" Wood, he'd be the ugliest member of New Kids on the Block, too.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: Hilary Duff
Haylie should consult Ashlee Simpson because she is one well-executed rhinoplasty away from being hot.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: Nick Lachey
Either Drew's mom was a heavy drinker or his dad only had one load of brilliance, because Drew lost out on looks, height, and talent.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: Jake Gyllenhaal
I don't know what droops worse, her elf-shoe tits or her face.
Much Better-Looking Sibling: Ashely Judd
Is it just me or does Wynonna bear a stunning resemblance to Beast from "Beauty and the Beast?"
All the Baldwin Brothers not named Alec