Taylor Swift And Calvin Harris Have Allegedly Broken Up Because Calvin Loves Getting Jerked Off By Strangers

Wait, a celebrity couple broke up?!?! Impossible!

Last month, my colleague David brought you bros the story of Taylor Swift’s boyfriend, Calvin Harris allegedly spending the afternoon in a thai rub and tug joint. Both Radar and Ok! reported the visit but quickly tugged the story down.

And David hit the nail on the head in his original post:

Taylor Swift seems like the kind of person who would put on latex gloves before begrudgingly, half-heartedly giving you the hand job you requested, so if you are in an intimate, monogamous relationship with her, it make sense you would go elsewhere to get some quality palm to dick.

Welp, the rub and tug saga continues–this time Radar reporting that the couple of six months has broken up over Swift’s suspicion of Harris’ weakness for getting jerked off by strangers.

Per Radar:

Taylor Swift just got some fresh material for her next album! RadarOnline.com has learned that the singer has dumped her DJ boyfriend of roughly six months, Calvin Harris, after he was caught leaving a Thai massage parlor!

According to OK!’s source, “Swift was especially weirded out because Harris has “his own masseuse, on staff” so there would be no need to go to a seedy LA joint that charges $40 an hour.”

Swift allegedly immediately dumped her beau while on tour and will reportedly record an entire album about handjob infidelity. Ok, I made that last part up but I cannot wait to see how she weaves her ex ALLEGEDLY getting happy endings into her next song.

PSA: If you or someone you know if considering getting a rub and tug, please check out a former BroBible writer’s first-hand (pun intended) account of his experience. It’s a good one.

[h/t Elite Daily]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.