MOTHER OF GOD! ‘Super Troopers 2’ Is Definitely Happening, But Thorny And The Boys Need Your Help! (Video)

I’ve read so many “Super Troopers 2 Is Definitely Happening” articles that at this point I’ve nearly given up and I’ll believe it when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet. But it really looks like a Super Troopers sequel is actually going to happen.

The long-awaited sequel to 2001 underrated comedy is a reality, but there’s a catch. Due to the tight fiscal situation, they were regrettably informed that they need to raise $2 million in only 32 days. The Broken Lizard comedy troupe have set up an account on crowdfunding site Indiegogo to finance the highly-anticipated sequel.

The page says, “Join us and make SUPER TROOPERS 2: the time is meow!”

Here is their pitch to you:

“We’ve been waiting for years to do this, and meow the time has come. Our mustaches are thick, furry, and authoritative. The script is written and we’re getting all antsy in our pantsy to start shooting. There’s just one problem:

While the studio has given us permission to make the sequel, and agreed to distribute it (at least in the USA and Canada), we need to fund the movie ourselves.

So this is how it works: if we’re able to raise at least $2,000,000 in the next month, we’ll be able to get to work on a barebones version of Super Troopers 2 this summer. But $2,000,000 is the bare minimum we’ll need to get into production.

Because most of their audience is too busy licking snozzberries, they simplified what has to happen to make ST2.

But the Thorny and the boys want Super Troopers to be epic, so the more money they receive, the more epicness. They promise the following if they blow away their $2 million target:

  • The ability to hire someone who knows how to operate a camera.
  • Bathrooms for the women on set (men will still have to use the woods).
  • Bigger stunts.
  • Fancier cars to chase.
  • Louder explosions.
  • Cameos from real Hollywood actors.
  • More bearfucking (or as Erik’s mom likes to call it ‘making out with the bear’): this time, with real bears and real reciprocation!
  • More powdered sugar.
  • More full-frontal Farva.
  • Diamonds on the soles of our shoes.
  • More sexy 70’s icons playing women in positions of authority. (Don’t you want to see LeeMajors in a wig?)
  • Kate Upton.

Wow! For just a little bit more money look how much more you get!

However it’s not just about taking your money and making some shitty sequel, if you invest your hard-earned money, you’ll get crap. Like for $55 you’ll get a Super Troopers t-shirt AND fake mustache, $100 gets you an official theatrical poster and for $250 you can drink with the guys at Beerfest in Chicago. However if you aren’t a cheapskate and pony up some real coin there are some pretty awesome experiences including going to the red carpet premiere for $750 or you could be an extra in the movie for $3,500. For a cool $10,000 you could be the producer and for $12,500 you could be the director. But if you really want to contribute to the film and give $25,000, the Broken Lizard guys will be the groomsmen or bridesmaids at your wedding. You can even buy the patrol car from the new movie for $35,000. Seems like everything has a price. Desperation is a stinky cologne.

Super Troopers 2 would reunite the original Vermont State Troopers including Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter and Erik Stolhanske for more shenanigans that are cheeky and fun. This is such a reality that there’s even a Change.org petition to get the hot German chick in the sequel for more mustache rides.

I can’t imagine that a studio can’t pony up like $20-30 million to make a sequel for one of the great comedies of the last 15 years. The film has a cult following who would happily rent and download the shit out of a Super Troopers sequel to make a profit. It is possible that this crowdfunding was done as a pre-promotional campaign that provides free exposure to the film and gives anyone who invests a sense of ownership of the film, pormpting people help advertise the movie themselves. I’m also surprised that a streaming service such as Netflix didn’t jump all over this. The movie has a built-in audience and name recognition. Stoners would watch Super Troopers 2 on loop if it was on Netflix.

I really hope this happens, I don’t want the promise of a Super Troopers 2 to crap on my heart once again.

Well if it doesn’t happen in the end, you can take solace that Foster finally grew a mustache. Sort of. After 14 years.