Dim-witted Nirvana fanboy and Walter Jr. impersonator Ryan Lochte has a new reality show coming out on the E! Network called "What Would Ryan Do?" It was previewed during the Oscars last night. I've been unsuccessfully trying to find the video for the past hour, but trust me: This could end up being going down as the worst—and by worst I mean funniest—reality TV show of all time.
Lochte seems to be an endearing idiot completely lacking in any self-awareness. As someone who has watched literally dozens of reality shows over the years, I can say that those are easily the two most important qualities you want out of your reality star. Think of the first season of "Jersey Shore," before they got famous. The Situation was just a guy who was possibly illiterate, referred to his abs in the third-person, and spent 90% of his time talking about how great his game was—only he would constantly hook up with ugly chicks. Think of the all-time best season of "Flavor of Love" (the first season). "New York" was a self-proclaimed hot "Head Bitch in Charge"... only she was incredibly unattractive.
Every reality show features dumb people. But where the Situation, New York, and Lochte prevail above the Kardashians is that they're not in on the joke at all. They don't realize that reality TV is essentially a format to laugh at strangers.
I mean, look at this screenshot:
AND THIS ONE.
And now rewatch this interview montage.
"What Would Ryan Do?" (even that name, holy shit) will feature Lochte talking to the camera every episode. Who knows what's going to come out of his mouth? This is going to be fascinating television.
[H/T: Daily Mail]