How is porn so difficult to control who views it that Iceland needs to impose a ban on the genre completely?
As a teenager, I remember trading baseball cards for Playboys with my friends. As I look back at those choices, I realize porn isn't as evil as the world makes it appear. It is a venue for men and women to release sexual tension. Some people even use it simply for curing boredom. Others use it as a visual dramatization of their already vivid imagination. It brings your guilty pleasures to life and allows you to enjoy them without having to explain your reasons.
But I don't have to sell you on the idea that porn is great. You know that. I just have to explain all the reasons why Iceland shouldn't ban it. And I have come up with 25 reasons. I just hope Iceland is watching.
25. Iceland Is How Far from the Rest of the World?
If any country wanted to ban porn, it shouldn't be Iceland. They are so far removed from the rest of society, it is meaningless to impose such sanctions. Don't you think life is hard enough already for your people? For starters, Iceland doesn't have an army. What do they think will happen when the 150,000 men living on that island no longer have an outlet for stress relief?
24. Porn is Hilarious
If you really wanted to have a good time, try watching a porn flick with a group of friends. Just make sure to include a few chicks or this won't work. Go watch a porn movie and tell me the acting doesn't make you laugh out loud. It is a comedy with nudity. And semen.
23. Jenna Jameson
You can't make an article about porn and not mention the name Jenna Jameson. She brought porn into the mainstream and is one of the greatest names in porn in history. I think having her speak to the Icelandic government couldn't hurt.
22. Helps Develop Sexual Creativity
Porn isn't just a tool you should use to masturbate, that is how a simple minded politician sees it. Porn is also a great way to teach yourself some incredible sexual ideas, positions, and even foreplay. It doesn't have to be a one person event every time you watch porn. You can include other people. That is actually encouraged. Iceland can face it or not, but sex is everywhere. The better we are at it and the more we understand it, the happier we will be as a society. Banning it won't help win re-election any time soon.
21. Almost the Entire Country Uses the Internet
According to The World Factbook, 97% of Iceland uses the internet. And how many of those people have watched porn? Roughly 100% of them have at one point or another. How do I know? Have you seen porn? It is amazing. The argument to ban pornography is that it will protect children from the violent sexual imagery porn portrays. All I can say is that if you want to access porn, a ban on pornography won't stop you.
20. Porn Leads to Ideas
How many times have you watched a porn and suddenly came up with a great idea? Porn clears your mind of all the crap we live with each and everyday. It allows us time to meditate and leave all our worries behind. It is during that moment after you watch porn that the idea wheel begins to spin.
19. Jesse Jane
I appear to have forgotten the main reason porn is great, the actresses. Jesse Jane is one of the most talented porn stars of the last ten years and she is also one of the key examples I would use if I had to explain to Iceland why they shouldn't ban porn.
18. It is Harmless
Has there ever been a crime problem related to porn? Sure, they have had a few crimes over the past thirty years related to the porn industry but the number of crimes in porn compared to those of any of industry are mostly less. Pornography is here to enjoy, not to harm others. If you want to ban something, ban the Kardashians from speaking.
17. Safe Sex All Around
Besides just being harmless, most pornography practices safe sex. A lot of porn doesn't even try to hide the fact that the male is wearing a condom, they want you to see it. This, once again, proves that porn is great. It is showing us that we can have a fantastic time with a smoking hot babe and still wear a rubber.
16. What's Next? Banning Fashion Models?
If you haven't already Google'd Icelandic women, feel free to pause and go check them out. It will blow your mind how many beautiful blond hair, blue eyed babes hail from the land of ice and snow. Almost all of those women look like models. Banning porn because you want to protect children from the “violent sexual imagery” is the beginning of complete censorship across the country. It won't be long before these models are also banned.
15. Does Iceland Remember Life Before Porn?
I do. It was horrible. I wasn't around but I have read papers and books on the subject. Think about it. Before the 60's, when Porn really took off, women were covered up, men weren't happy, and you were banished by your community if they found out you enjoy watching women have sex on video. It wasn't a pleasant time.
14. Sex is Boring
Sex can be boring and monotonous after awhile. It doesn't matter how much of a pimp you are, after a long period of time with the same person sex can become boring. Porn can assist a couple stuck in a rut. It can empower them to communicate and spice things up in the bedroom. Again, if Iceland wants to have a country full of pissed off men and women, ban porn.
13. Bree Olson
I can't have a team of pornstars to sent over to Iceland and not include Bree Olson. Sorry, I had no choice but to include the cute pornstar.
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12. Icelandic Art is Nuts
Iceland should be one of the last countries to ban something for showing “violent sexual imagery” and for one reason, art. Have you seen some of the Icelandic art? If anything is full of violent imagery, it is the abstract crap that comes from Iceland. Porn shouldn't have to suffer when compared to that junk.
11. Internet Providers Might Fold
Porn is the biggest reason anyone uses the internet. If banned, people will no longer pay loads of cash for fast internet when they could get the same results from a library. Don't say I didn't warn you.
10. Porn Makes You a Happier Person
Psychology wasn't my major in school but, once again, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that an island full of horny guys with no outlet to vent that frustration is less appealing than an island of horny guys with internet access to pornography. I don't always use porn but when I do, it is in private and I am much happier the next day.
9. Bibi Jones
Bibi Jones quit porn but now she is back. See Iceland, porn allows people a second chance. It isn't just about “violent sexual imagery”, it is about being yourself and doing what you love to do, have sex.
8. Article 73 of the Constitution of Iceland
Yeah I read the entire Constitution of Iceland, so what. I was waiting for my porn to buffer. But Article 73 of the Constitution of Iceland clearly states, “The law may never provide for censorship or other similar limitations to freedom of expression.” Porn is a freedom of expression for both actors and connoisseurs. It should be treated as a violation of the rights of Icelandic citizens.
7. Reality TV is Much Worse
That's right, I said it. If you want to ban anything, ban reality TV. Just because someone isn't having sex doesn't mean it is OK to be watching. Maybe we should eliminate all the Housewives, Kardashians, and teen pregnancy shows first. (Iceland does have access to MTV Europe so they do have the ability to watch all those crappy shows)
6. Nikki Benz
Nikki Benz belongs in my group of pornstars that we should send over to Iceland to speak to the Icelandic government and help out the people of Iceland to not ban porn.
5. Tracy Gold
Nikki Benz might be one of the world's biggest porn stars but Tracy Gold hails from Iceland making her a little more important to my cause here. If Iceland decides to actually follow through with this ridiculous ban on porn, Tracy Gold might not be able to return home. If she does, what will she do?
4. Porn Reduces Crime
It isn't proven but I would bet all the money in my pocket that all those sicko's out there with extreme pleasure thresholds wouldn't be good for Iceland now that they have no way of pleasuring themselves in private. Now they have to find ways to do it and without porn, it could lead to dangerous results.
3. Money, Money, Money
Does the Icelandic government even know how much freaking money porn makes? I'll help. Billions. Porn is one of the most profitable industries in the World. It doesn't take a genius from Harvard to explain that any country in the World could use an extra couple of bucks these days. Isn't that right Iceland?
You didn't actually think porn was just a group of dudes with a camera filming a chick performing fellatio on another man, did you? A pornography film can bring in hundreds of jobs. These jobs can range from marketing executive to sound editor and everything in between. It isn't just a man and woman, it is a team. And in some instances, that team is actually the stars in the film. Isn't that right Debbie?
1. It's Free
If you want to be a member of an exclusive club with access to videos not available to the public, than it isn't free. However, if you are the other 90% of the porn community than you already know that you can obtain free porn almost anywhere the internet is available. You can even access it on your phone, iPad, or Xbox360. All without having to spend a dime. It's the equivalent of banning the radio. Come on Iceland, get it together.