One of the biggest nights in showbiz is upon us. Make it count by also making it a celebration in boozing.
Take A Drink:
- Every time Ben Affleck's Argo-beard is shown
- Every time someone speaks in a non-American accent
- Every time Tina Fey makes a "Parks and Recreation reference to her co-host
- Every time Amy Poehler makes a "30 Rock" reference to her co-host
- Every time "torture" and Zero Dark Thirty are discussed
- Every time Louis CK is praised as being "on top of his game"
- Every time Jennifer Lawrence is praised as being one of the hottest up and coming actresses
Two Drinks:
- If the Philadelphia Eagles are discussed in conjunction with Silver Linings Playbook
- (drink double with any mention of DeSean Jackson)
- Every time "Django Unchained" is compared to other Tarantino Films
- At every mention of the Oscars
- If there is any forced reference to Ryan Gosling
- Any time a nominee also appears in (or narrates) a commercial
- Somebody is bleeped out
Three Drinks:
- If some sort of "Can you beleive Bryan Cranston was once the dad in Malcolm in the Middle?"- type statement is uttered.
- If Christoph Waltz speaks a language other than english
- Any mention of how old Tommy Lee Jones suddenly looks
- If Chris Tucker is in attendance
- Whenever a clip of "Mad Men" is shown, and someone is drinking alcohol
- With the occurance of any wardrobe malfunction
- Every second anyone has to wait before clearly wanting to speak, but can't due to excessive clapping
Finish Your Drink:
- If Damian Lewis smiles
- If Claire Danes cries
- If Aaron Sorkin attempts to make a grandiose political statement
- If "Lena Dunham" and "voice of a generation" are mentioned in the same sentence
- If Aaaron Paul's incredibly hot fiancee becomes a trending topic on twitter
***Always remember to follow the trusty rules of responsibilty.
