Everyone loves a drinking game.
More importantly, everyone loves a drinking game that can keep you indoors and out of the sweltering summer heat.
The summer is where movie-drinking games originated and they continue to live on and thrive, especially this year thanks to the load of crap Hollywood has dumped on us.
As for the rules of movie-drinking games, they’re often subject to debate, which renders them ever changing and hard to practice if not written down and established.
Well, allow us to solve that crisis for one of the most important movies ever made, Billy Madison.
This 1995-comedy starring Adam Sandler is the Mecca of screwball comedies for us twenty-or-somethings.
While older, and newer, generations may prefer other farces more such as Caddyshack or the Hangover, Billy Madison remains a timeless classic and makes for a brilliant movie to sit around and watch with your bros, especially if you’re looking for something to put on before you go out.
Without further adieu, here are BroBible’s official rules to the Billy Madison Drinking Game.
In case you forgot how movie-drinking games work, you drink every time the following happens:
Sandler’s laugh is in a league of it’s own and as Billy, it really shines through in all of his classroom antics and poop-burning sessions. Be careful with this rule though, a laugh is a laugh, don’t confuse it with Sandler making noises or smiling.
With that said, this is a rule that could have you feeling quite drunk after the 89-minute film is over.
Eric’s name is mentioned
Something about the way Billy says the name Eric is just too funny to leave off this list. He shouts it. He whispers it. He ignores saying it. However, he is pronouncing it, Sandler absolutely nails every seen with Bradley Whitford and that’s deserving of recognition. And by recognition, I mean you consume alcohol when Billy claims that Eric drinks his own urine.
For good measure, drink when Billy pushes Eric over the bench and the two track kids comment on how weird his balls look. His name isn’t mentioned, but drink anyway.
Frank and Jack are drinking
Everything can’t revolve around Billy, as much as we’d like it to. The fact remains as much of a bro as Billy is, he’s rarely seen, if at all, imbibing on screen. Therefore, the “drink while other characters are drinking” rule has to apply to his best buddies — Frank and Jack, or Norm MacDonald and that other guy who isn’t quite as famous.
Frank and Jack spend almost all their screen time in a haze of drunken foolery and fits completely appropriately with the movie. Not to mention, they supply us with the classic scene where the wake up at Billy’s pool and call out for him only to realize he’s not there.
A member of the O’Doyle family is shown (drink five times when they’re all together)
Billy interacts with several members of the O’Doyle clan throughout his pilgrimage from first grade to graduating high school. The whole “O’Doyle Rules” is a recurring side joke that’s funniness has sort of faded over all the years after being repeated so damn much. However, the repetitiveness of the O’Doyle’s throughout the plot definitely makes them a staple to the drinking game.
By our count, you will be drinking a dozen or so times with this rule. Not including the final scene with them when their car spins off the edge of a cliff after driving over a banana peel.
Miss Lippy does something abstract
Yes, this includes her telling the Puppy Who Lost Its Way and the glue she puts on her face. However, her handing Billy his supplies and him screaming, “Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!” does not qualify as a drink under these rules. But, as always, if you’re feeling thirsty, go for it.
Rollo the Janitor appears
He only has two scenes so this one doesn’t really hamper the liver, but we felt obligated to include him on the list of rules because he utters perhaps the films greatest line an exchange with Billy.
Billy: How ‘bout you Sideburns? You want some of this milk?
Rollo: I’d rather have a beer.
His scene with Eric is pretty good too.
A soundtrack song is played
This rule is the complete opposite of the Rollo the Janitor rule. Billy Madison is flooded with great soundtrack music, including Telephone Line by ELO (yes, this is the song that plays after Billy hangs up with Steve Buscemi’s character). Included in this rule is the song that plays when Billy is in first grade (an easy miss if you’re not paying attention) as well as “The Billy Madison Way” and Billy’s victory song at the end. This rules counts for 13-15 drinks throughout the movie, so prepare yourself.
Now, don’t confuse soundtrack music with Billy or other characters singing. As much as we’d like to include the scene with Billy singing around his mansion about going back to school, it just seems too obvious.
Remember: these rules are supposed to make you drink as well as see the movie in a new light.
The word ‘poo’ is said
By our count it’s only said four times in the movie (shocking, I know). So if you’re feeling thirsty you can add in the phrase “poop” for more of a challenge.
Note: Only in writing rules for the Billy Madison drinking game would the previous sentence be allowed as well as understood by a mass audience.
Billy gets tutored
There scenes are excellent, especially the ones with Chris Farley. To clarify, none of these scenes occur at school. They all take place at the Madison mansion and they include Veronica Vaughn, Juanita, Ernie and, of course, Farley’s funny-ass bus driver.