This New Trailer For ‘Southpaw’ Will Make You Want To Run Through A Goddamn Wall

Is it just me or have the trailers for Southpaw given away way too much of the plot? At this point, you can probably pick up the movie at the halfway point and missed next to nothing. We already know that Jake Gyllenhaal is a prize fighter who’s wife dies and then his daughter is taken out of his custody because the state deems him an unfit parent (way to rip off the basic plot of Over The Top only making the main character a boxer and not a shredded trucker with an arm of gold and the greatest name in cinematic history). We also know the Gyllenhaal’s character dips into a deep depression that can only be cured by him stepping into the ring again. Seems logical. No wife, no daughter, has a lot of “me time” on his hands…Only thing to do is become a boxing god again. Well, that or jerk off a lot, but that wouldn’t make for a terribly exciting movie. (Southpaw, the harrowing story of a right-handed man who lost everything so he learned how to whack off with his left hand. Come to think of it…that doesn’t sound so bad.)

What we don’t know is how Gyllenhaal gets his daughter back or how truly bad 50 Cent’s acting really is. For the latter, I’m guessing terrible. And for the former, I’m guessing he goes to the boxing championships in Vegas, wins a 18-wheeler, and makes Robert Loggia is sworn enemy in the process. Might as well continue to follow Over the Top‘s “How to Make Your Movie a Fucking Blockbuster” formula.