Ah, Mr. Skin. Who can forget first stumbling on his site as a wayward youth, a kid just trying to find that scene of Halle Berry topless in "Swordfish?" Now, we have access to a broad swath of depraved and vile sex acts on the Internet, but there will always be something important about Mr. Skin's lists of the year's best celebrity nudity.
This year's list should inspire some frantic Googling that we, unfortunately, can't link to. Take a look at the press release:
1. Ashley Hinshaw in About Cherry
Beachy blonde Ashley Hinshaw started her showbiz career with a slew of skin free teen dramas, and then unveiled the ripe fruits on her chest for five topless scenes in About Cherry (2012). Now that's how you pop your nudity cherry!
2. Michelle Williams & Sarah Silverman in Take This Waltz
Sarah Silverman tickled a lot more than funny bones with her furry full frontal debut alongside Michelle Williams in Take This Waltz. The well-lit shower scene will provoke a one-handed tango.
3. Sophie Rundle in Episodes
Sophie Rundle played Matt LeBlanc's stalker on the Showtime series Episodes, but it's inconceivable that anyone would want to get away from those huge, natural knockers.
4. Helen Hunt in The Sessions
Girl-next-door Helen Hunt made her topless debut in The Waterdance (1992). 20 years later she proved she’s still got it with a spectacular full frontal reveal in The Surrogate (2012). We're Mad About Pubes!
5. Olivia Munn in Magic Mike
Olivia Munn nearly slipped her Munn-chables by us by getting naked for the first time in the male stripper movie Magic Mike (2012). Those mams are magical!
6. Camilla Luddington in Californication
Camilla Luddington starred as the titular princess in Lifetime's royal wedding movie, William & Kate (2011), but her skinny-dipping scene in Californication was her real crowing achievement.
7. Ali Cobrin in American Reunion
We've been waiting for Ali Cobrin's nude debut since she answered an American Reunion (2012) casting call that included "Please note upper frontal nudity is required". The pastries on her chest were even better than we could have imagined.
8. Jessica Marais in Magic City
Jessica Marais won us over with her spectacular T&A in the first episode of the Starz series Magic City, then really sealed the deal by getting nude in practically every episode afterwards.
9. Sarah Power in Californication
Sarah Power's colossal cans are so spectacular that when she made her nude debut on Californication, David Duchovny declared she should win a "Mr. Skin Award." We agree.
10. Kristen Stewart in On the Road
Kristen Stewart shot to fame in the teen vampire movie Twilight (2008), and then doffed her top to encourage a whole new beat generation in Jack Kerouac's On the Road (2012).
“Thanks to long awaited nude debuts from Sarah Silverman, Kristen Stewart, and Olivia Munn, many dreams were realized this year,” said Mr. Skin from his headquarters in Chicago. “Now we’re focused on the future, a bright, shining future full of celebrity skin.”
A few thoughts: 1. Ashley Hinshaw is the year's undisputed champion. You should really look that scene up when you're in a safe place to do so. 2. Helen Hunt is 49 years old, so props, we guess, on not showing ageism. 3. We think Sarah Silverman is funny, but we're not that sure how "long-awaited" the nude debut was.
Despite the problems, it's good to hear from the legendary Mr. Skin, who we imagine giving that quote while lounging in a smoking jacket at 10 in the morning.