The Dude from Big Lebowski
White Russians, weed and bowling? Maybe not the norm, but how could you not want to party with The Dude? He’s like the most laid back person ever and he seems like he has some awesome stories about back in the day. Normally I would hate to hear back in the day stories, but for some reason I feel like his would be unreasonably awesome. He could shed a lot of hippy wisdom on you while you sip on a white Russian and puff on a joint of what I would imagine to be the finest of California marijuana. Sounds like a good time to me
Frank ‘The Tank’ Ricard from Old School
We’d be complete fools not to include Frank the Tank on this list after watching the way that man can funnel beer. There is a very strong chance that if you partied with Frank the Tank, you wouldn’t remember a whole lot from the night. This is probably a really good thing since you were most likely making a complete fool of yourself when you thought you were being ‘the man.’ Partying with Frank the Tank would teach you about your limits. Which, when it comes to partying is a very important thing you should know about yourself. Oh and Frank could make you look really smart in front of girls since he sort of loses his mind when he’s drunk.
Smokey from Friday
Smokey might be the most entertaining character on this list and the entertainment factor alone would make him fantastic to party with. You could literally sit back and watch this man interact with other people all night and have an amazing time. He also sells weed, which is good if you’re in to that kind of thing and even if you weren’t at first, after 10 minutes of hangin’ with Smokey, you would probably change your mind and spark up with him and then you’d probably laugh for like 6 hours straight.
Raoul Duke from Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
This would probably be the weirdest night of your life, but it would be completely worth it for the incredibly profound life lessons you would take away. It might not strike you until like the 3rd hit of acid, but at some point while partying with Raoul Duke, you would make a life changing discovery about yourself or someone around you. It might be something small like, “Wow my second toe looks like a peanut” or it may be huge like, “Wow, I guess my parents never really did love each other.” But at one point or another, you would walk away having partied with an icon that gave you a foundation to grow as a human and have a strangely good time doing it.
Billy Madison from Billy Madison
Billy Madison wouldn’t be your typical party experience since he was like WAY OUT THERE, but it would probably be a lot of fun. Billy had a lot of money and he wasn’t afraid to spend it on complete awesomeness. I feel like the party schedule with Billy would be, wake up and drink until nighttime and then just order pizza and a shit ton of strippers until it all got boring. Everything was a game to Billy Madison and when it comes to partying, that is an awesome attitude to have. When you think about it, partying is a game, it’s you trying to balance how much alcohol you can tolerate while also trying to maintain enough composure to sleep with something. In the right party situation, Billy would probably bring out the best in you and probably pay for everything.
Jeremy Gray from Wedding Crashers
I wish I knew someone like Jeremy Gray because not only was he a great friend and an awesome wingman, he was a master of the art of partying. I think spending some quality party time with Jeremy Gray could teach you a thing or two on how to be the coolest person in any given situation. He could literally open up a school on the subject of how to be, ‘the man’ and it would be worth however much he decided to charge for classes. Plus he could probably get you laid without you having to do any thinking. All you would have to do is agree with everything he said and things would just fall into place.
Bluto from Animal House
Bluto is the definition of a wildcard and everyone wants to party with a wildcard. The stories you’d get from partying one night with Bluto make him virtually the best person to party with EVER. Yeah, he may be a bit of a loser and yeah, you might not get laid, but at least you would have stories for a lifetime and by stories for a lifetime I mean stories that will be passed on to your grandchildren’s grandchildren. This man was a legend and in many eyes still is a legend. It’s a known fact that at least 80% of all people have owned a shirt that said ‘College’ on it because of Bluto.
Steven Stifler from American Pie
I mean, no need to elaborate here. He is the reason an entire generation of Bros act the way they do. That's influence.
Aristotle is a Los Angeles based comedian who thinks that most shots are made of pure hangover. You can follow him on Twitter @STOTLE.