Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more.
Strap in. It could get bumpy. These are the most entertaining celebrity tweets this week.
Johnny Manziel’s 1.0 Total QBR Sunday was the worst by any player in his starting debut since 2006 (when QBR data exists).
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) December 15, 2014
Johnny 1.0.
I'm trying to start a rumor that the trendy Greek yogurt has spit in it. Please RT! THX!
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 15, 2014
I RT’d.
Be patient, work on your hustle, and exact your revenge. #MondayAdvice
— Robert Downey Jr (@RobertDowneyJr) December 15, 2014
Words of wisdom.
Someone has just hacked my twitter. Sorry to anyone who got weird shit sent to them x
— SAM SMITH (@samsmith) December 15, 2014
So he isn’t really performing at my NYE party?
Has there ever been a Lifetime movie about a woman who lost her jerk-off hand?
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) December 15, 2014
Probably.
The doctor asked "do you need any pain medicine?" and I said "no, doctor, I WANT pain medicine. It's different."#adulthood #maturity #wisdom
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) December 15, 2014
Who doesn’t?
https://twitter.com/JamesDeen/status/544545925327114240
It is pretty cool.
Best hockey players in the world are MUMPED? Biggest movie star in the world is POXED? What the hell is going on?!
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) December 16, 2014
The end is near.
https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/544730003783421952
Damn right.
Did they really get a guy named “Christian” to play Moses?
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) December 16, 2014
That’s the least of their worries.
Do for yourself. Fuck everybody else.
— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown) December 16, 2014
That’s the holiday spirit!
Yes, it's THAT shitty & selfish. LOL RT @KimKardashian: Wait is this really news that I posted a selfie & cropped my daughter out? LOL
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) December 16, 2014
Nailed it.
https://twitter.com/JamesDeen/status/544884423972225024
We will never run out.
Today I saw a truck carrying Viagra. And get this, it was a semi. By the way – no charge for that tweet.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) December 16, 2014
Think he cringed a little sending that out?
Another country music awards show on last night. Coming in 2015, The Country Music Awards Awards. Where they vie for best award show.
— David Spade (@DavidSpade) December 16, 2014
SERIOUSLY.
https://twitter.com/jaymohr37/status/544933797176041473
Good to know.
Don't Worry Bae I'll Talk To You About SpaceTime Over FaceTime.
— Jaden (@jaden) December 16, 2014
This got how many favorites?
https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/544976247554441217
And this is why Chrissy Teigen wins at Twitter.
UPDATE: Russell Crowe still has me blocked.
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) December 17, 2014
You too?
It's the holiday time n u know what that means. Time 4 someone 2 get inappropriately hammered at their work party while wearing a name tag.
— Kathleen Madigan (@kathleenmadigan) December 17, 2014
Truer words were never spoken.
You could try to type "autocorrect" and autocorrect would change it to studebaker.
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) December 17, 2014
Of this I have no doubt.
Malina Life Hack: Never refer 2 a company or store without its slogan. Just told my wife I’m going to “Petco – where the pets go.” Hilarity.
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) December 17, 2014
Trying that this weekend.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/545275467197337600
The power of Gloria Estefan is not to be underestimated.
Does this mean I can now legally buy Cuban cigars in America? #vitalquestion
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) December 17, 2014
That is a #vitalquestion.
https://twitter.com/WhitneyCummings/status/545277461936611328
This holds way too much truth in it.
https://twitter.com/JasonBiggs/status/545304694499713024
Really? He went there?
So @WWE is calling Sting the vigilante? Umm guys? I've got your vigilante right here.
— Stephen Amell (@StephenAmell) December 17, 2014
But you [redacted so as not to reveal a spoiler].
THE INTERVIEW is now poised to shatter the world record for "spite viewings."
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 17, 2014
That’s the truth – if it ever comes out.
Fine, then just re-release Team America.
— Mo Rocca (@MoRocca) December 17, 2014
YES!
Saw @Sethrogen at JFK. Both of us have never seen or heard of anything like this. Hollywood has done Neville Chamberlain proud today.
— Rob Lowe (@RobLowe) December 17, 2014
But what does “Scrawny Arms” Rob Lowe think?
You really know you're in San Francisco when you see a big billboard for BitTorrent.
— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) December 18, 2014
Dead giveaway.
I expect THE INTERVIEW to turn up online. Because, dig it, you can knock the rock but you can't stop the rock.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) December 18, 2014
What he said.
What do I have to do for LinkedIn to stop sending me emails. Commit a crime?
— Stephen Amell (@StephenAmell) December 18, 2014
Yes.
Just discovered this new game, Candy Crush…man, is it fun.
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) December 18, 2014
Dear God, no.
JAY CUTLER FUCKING MANTI TEO GIRLFRIEND PLAY BETTER THAN YOU JABRONI #CHIvsNO
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) December 16, 2014
Have a great weekend, everybody!