Entertainment
by Andy Green on July 26, 2012

Captain N The Game Master
During this era… combining real life with things that are popular was all the rage in marketing to the youth. The 'Masters of The Universe' feature film was about He-Man coming to Earth and at one point a battle takes place at a freaking high school prom. Keeping with that tradition, when Nintendo was really exploding they decided to make a character out of a moron kid who got sucked into his Nintendo and ended up having adventures with all the characters of Nintendo fame. There was Kid Icarus, the Zelda folk and even a weird, semi brain damaged version of Mega-Man. The show taught us valuable lessons like how your electronics can sometimes suck you into alternate dimensions and realities… which can be tough on the fragile psyche of a child.

Mega Man

After the embarrassing representation of this beloved video game character in 'Captain N The Game Master,' it seems as though the creators of Mega Man had a board meeting. In this board meeting they vowed that if the character should ever get another opportunity for a cartoon again… they wouldn't make the mistake of taking away his balls. The Mega Man cartoon of the nineties was absolutely badass. Two scientists kept creating devastating battle robots who would battle each other and do extremely expensive damage to their local communities. The animation was solid and the intro looked like something you would see after one of your bros pranked you with a little PCP in your cigarette!

Super Mario Bros Super Show
This is the show bros remember. It was amazing and when you finally come to grips that it was Captain Lou Albino playing Mario and not Ron Jeremy… you could once again move on with your life and close that chapter of your childhood. This was an amazing take that translated the classic world of Mario onto the screen and kept the integrity of the brand intact. And as an adult… it's pretty cool to go back and watch those little goomba mushrooms ON mushrooms. The guy who plays Luigi in the live action sequences can make your trip turn on ya with his lameness, so bros be advised.

The Legend of Zelda
Here is another great example of a show that kept the original bro-approved badass from the show and used a flavor injector to stuff the cartoon with it. It's a great take with the art and feel of the show. Plus, for some reason… Princess Zelda is smooooookin' hot. Any true bro would happy to take his time and find HER Tri-force… and move it vigorously in a circular motion!

Battletoads

What happens when mutated teenage turtles are all the rage? Alien war toads, that's what! 'Battletoads' was a pretty sweet video game series that started off with a giant alien ship releasing a race of ass-kicking bipedal toads to help save some chick from an evil magical bitch hellbent on ruining their Battletoad leisure times. The cartoon took that story and ran with it. To this day, no one is certain why the creators of the series went with the shi*tty Beach Boys cover band for the theme… but they did.

 

Click below for the final five Supremely Mind Blowing Retro Video Game Cartoons

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Double Dragon
Double Dragon was a video game franchise that followed two face shattering ass kickers as they wondered the streets and laid waste to street dwelling lesser talented karate experts. Add some magic, a rip-off of Splinter from TMNT and you've got yourself the 'Double Dragon' cartoon show. Dragon power sounds like something an eye-patch wearing hippie at Bonnaroo would try to sell you behind his bus… but in the show… it helps the main character kick ass… BETTER.

Sonic The Hedgehog
This show was cool because it basically took an incredibly popular game storyline and dashed it with a bit of edge and darkness. Sonic and his bros ran around trying to stop the round and jiggly Dr. Robotnik from being a major dick to people. Sonic ran faster than a woman who was just propositioned to participate in a threesome with Gary Busey and Andy Milonakis!

Mortal Kombat
Mortal Kombat was a game that was cool to this particular generation of bros because it showed us just how beautiful an animated squirt of blood hurling out of a face after it met intimately with a jab could be. It changed our lives. This cartoon really did a nice job of taking the elements of the story of 'Mortal Kombat' and making it a cohesive followable reality. Plus, Raiden is a bro… even though he looks like he's wearing some kind of fancy pajamas.

Street Fighter
Like 'Mortal Kombat,' the video game franchise 'Street Fighter' taught an entire generation of children… that sometime you have to get your hands dirty and beat a little ass. The cartoon decided to take the series and pretty much have sex with the GI Joe storyline. The result was this… it gets an auto bro approval for the fact that the hot Asian kicks the ever living f*ck out of a tank. THAT RULES!

Pac Man

Pac Man had to have been a tough one on the writers. How the hell do you put a storyline to a dot that eats other dots and gets chased by ghosts? The answer is easy. You just have to take to party one night… throw in an evil villain with a breathing apparatus and literally bring the dots to life. Check out this ultra tripped out cartoon version of what raver chicks think about!

While today's video games rip the spine out of these retro games like the predator… they will never be able to top the sheer brain-bleeding, weird and wonderful worlds the irresponsible adults of the eighties and early nineties let soak into our eyes! And that's about as bro as it gets.

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