How much of an idiot does Tim Cowlishaw look like right now? Two Saturdays ago, the Dallas Morning News sports reporter and "Around the Horn" commentator Tweeted that the Jets were close to signing Darrelle Revis the following Wednesday. Cowlishaw said his source on the information has "never been wrong." Needless to say, the source was wrong. Ten days after that predicted signing day, the star cornerback is still nowhere to be seen. Cowlishaw's cluelessnes — as well as that of the rest of the sports media, who frantically followed a story that was totally bogus (I guess including us, since we re-tweeted the news) — was cast in pretty harsh light by Wednesdasy night's episode of "Hard Knocks."
Early in the episode, GM Mike Tannenbaum, Coach Rex Ryan, and the rest of the Jets brass are seen talking about this apparent looming Revis deal, which is of course a figment of Cowlishaw's imagination (or at least that of his "never been wrong" source). When the Tweet is first posted, Tannenbaum says, "I hope he's right. I'd just like to know what the deal looks like." Of course, he's the guy who would actually be making the deal, and probably hadn't heard from Revis's representatives in a week or two. As the rumor begins to snowball, the Jets' disbelief only escalates as more and more media outlets — New York ESPN radio affiliate 1050 AM, the 6 p.m. edition of "SportsCenter" — begin to report that the Revis signing is more or less a done deal. Let this prove as a lesson to all of us — a sports scoop delivered by Tweet isn't worth much more than its 140 characters.
Before we get to Coach Ryan's epic "Snack" speech to his team, it's worth lingering for a moment on Tannenbaum's job. Every season of "Hard Knocks," the GM's handling of the cutting and signing of players always surprises me, if for no other reason than that they're always brutally honesty. Tannenbaum is no slouch in this department. His cutting of fourth-string QB Kevin O'Connell was particularly harsh, telling him that Kellen Clemens beat him out for the third-string job and that they didn't trust him if the ultimate worst-case scenario happened and both Mark Sanchez and Mark Brunell went down. O'Connell took it well and you have to give Tannenbaum respect for being so honest — it seems the players, while being crushed and told to head back to Wisconsin to live with their grandmothers (as a player said he would last week), respect him for it, too. How the GM and Ryan handles the salary scenarios is also fascinating, whether it's convincing Clemens to take a pay cut and the third-string spot, or explaining to Laveranues Coles that they want his abilities and his leadership on the team… but if they sign him for the first week they have to pay his full-year salary. They can't do that, of course, because they're going to need the money to sign Revis. And, again, Coles understands all of this. Anyway, Tannenbaum provides a good lesson for all of you future business leaders out there: be honest with your employees, and they'll respect you no matter what your decision. (Side note: JoePA, sorry bud, clean out your desk.)
O.K., let's get to Ryan's speech, because it was fantastic, especially for the last line: "Let's go to eat a goddamn snack." Here's the video:
Ryan had plenty of other great lines, among them:
"He's O.K. [But] O.K. isn't a position."
"He's big as shit. I don't know if he's that smart though."
And then there's his jabbing at Redskins defensive player DeAngelo Hall, who tackled LaDanian Tomlinson after a 50-yard run: "You could have tackled him at the line of scrimmage! … That's why my brother got rid of your ass!" Here's the video:
Also gotta love #77 Kris Jenkins, who seems to be the leader of the defense: "Get the ball back to the quarterback. He needs some more work." And they did. My drafting of the Jets D and LDT in my fantasy draft is looking pretty good right now.
A few other notes:
• I found it fascinating how obvious it was that Vlad Ducasse couldn't protect Sanchez. As one of the coaches pointed out, one of those plays was way too reminiscent of similar plays in which Tom Brady and Carson Palmer got seriously injured.
• How long before the Terminator is a Pro Bowler? Boy can hit.
• The dashboard navigation system in a Maserati sucks — who knew?
• Do we think Braylon Edwards finding a gray hair in his beard will make him finally shave it?
• A couple weeks ago it was Domino's; this week, Taco Bell, McDonald's, and Arby's. What's next? Quiznos? Anyway, let's go to eat a goddamn snack.