Thanks Donald Trump for giving everyone the notion that they can be President of the United States even though they have zero political experience. First it was Kanye West, now Lindsay Lohan.
On Friday, LiLo announced that she would be throwing her hat with a powdery substance on it into the ring to be the U.S. President in 2020. On her Instagram she posted the following photo with the caption of:
https://www.instagram.com/p/86x-HFJc5s/In #2020 I may run for president. Through ups and downs #YESWECAN lets do this @kanyewest #truespirits thank your for inspiring us to be better people @barackobama #kanyewest2020 #lindsaylohanat35 #lindsaylohan2020 with #34yearsofEXPERIENCE #unitingWORLDnations @aliforneycenter @savethesociety @unicef
That photo was followed by this one:
https://www.instagram.com/p/86ztOtJc8I/The first thing I would like to do as president of is take care of all of the children suffering in the world. #queenELIZABETH showed me how by having me in her country
Suddenly the 2020 presidential election looks more like The Celebrity Apprentice, just waiting for Gilbert Gottfried and Gary Busey to announce that they’re running.
This is the same Lindsay Lohan that was arrested in May of 2007 for driving under the influence of alcohol and possession of cocaine after losing control of her Mercedes in Beverly Hills. She went to rehab as part of a plea deal. Then in July, less than two weeks out of rehab, Lohan was arrested a second time on charges of possession of cocaine, driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license after getting into a verbal argument with a woman whom she chased in her SUV. On August 23, 2007 Lohan pleads guilty to misdemeanor cocaine use and driving under the influence and is sentenced to one day in jail and 10 days of community service as well as probation for three years. She went to jail on November 15, 2007 and spent exactly 84 minutes in the Lynwood Jail before being released due to “overcrowding.” She then entered an inpatient rehabilitation facility, and was apparently “cured” after only 23 days.
This is the same Lindsay Lohan that in September of 2010 failed a drug test and her probation was revoked.
This is the same Lindsay Lohan that had a bench warrant issued for her arrest after she skipped a court date to attend the Cannes film festival. Lohan claims she couldn’t get back to the country because “her passport was stolen.”
This is the same Lindsay Lohan who was sentenced to 90 days in jail on July 6, 2010 for failing to attend her court-ordered weekly alcohol education classes. Lindsay surrenders and you’ll never guess what happens? She only serves two weeks of her 90 day sentence due to prison overcrowding.
This is the same Linday Lohan that on September 24, 2010 had her probation revoked once again after she failed a drug test which found cocaine in her system.
This is the same Lindsay Lohan that on December 12, 2010 she was accused of attacking a staffer at the Betty Ford Center when they asked the actress to take a drug and alcohol test.
This is the same Lindsay Lohan that in February of 2011 that was charged with stealing a necklace from a jewelry store. She pled no contest and was sentenced to community service and 120 days in jail for misdemeanor theft and probation violation. Luckily for her, that pesky jail overcrowding happened once again and she was permitted to go under house arrest and wear a tracking ankle monitor for 35 days. Lohan was too busy to perform the community service, which violated her probation, and was subsequently sentenced to additional community service and 30 days in jail. Those tiny jails in California might want to add a cell or two because once again, Lohan left jail after only five hours due to being in Hollywood, I mean “overcrowding.”
This is the same Lindsay Lohan that on April 22, 2011 was given 120 days in county jail and 480 hours of community service after a judge found she violated her probation. She was released from Lynwood Jail on May 26, 2011. Wanna guess the reason? If you said “overcrowding,” you’re correct!
This is the same Lindsay Lohan that on March 14, 2012 allegedly sideswiped a person with her car in Beverly Hills and then fled the scene.
This is the same Lindsay Lohan that on September 19, 2012 was arrested for allegedly hitting a man in New York City with her car and fleeing the scene.
This is the same Linday Lohan that on November 29, 2012 allegedly punched a woman in the face.
I’m sure you see what I’m trying to communicate here; that Lindsay Lohan is a completely entitled piece of human garbage and would be a perfect fit for politics! She is just as fucked up as all the other presidential candidates that we have, plus there’s a good chance that she’ll puke up taquitos and tequila on the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Plus she already has a fantastic war on drugs campaign, her plan is for her to do all the drugs so there won’t be any left for anyone else to do. Brilliant!
And Like Donald Trump, Lohan has declared that she too will build a wall, but with her flat ass.
https://www.instagram.com/p/wusKQipc_n/