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Justin Bieber Gets “Cleansed” Of Racism With Baptism

By 06.09.14


I don’t know if we’re just completely jaded with Bieber these days, but nothing he does anymore shocks me. He could buy his own NASA spaceship just to use it as his own personal jerk-off pad up in space and we’d be like “How nice, maybe it’ll explode on launch. It didn’t? Oh…is it time for lunch yet?”

Reportedly Bieber spent a week doing “intense Bible study” after he self-released his racist video “parody”, then got baptized in a bathtub. Why a bathtub? He says it was because people kept recognizing him whenever he visited churches. More likely reason why? Because it’s Justin fucking Bieber and he kept bursting into flames whenever he crossed over into holy ground.


Rebecca Martinson
About Rebecca Martinson... Rebecca Martinson is a recent graduate from the University of Maryland who is notoriously known throughout the Internet for being really, really adequate at writing emails. She joined BroBible right after graduating in the Spring of 2014 and doesn't hate it...yet.
TAGSbad musicJustin BieberReligion

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