I am some neurotic blogger with social anxiety who can only communicate with other human beings through one-way online communication that has to be precisely thought out for hours, so the notion of getting up on stage before a huge and esteemed crowd terrifies me. I completely understand the necessity of utilizing alcohol to relax your nerves when giving public intercourse and have utilized it for several best man speeches. However I am not the handsome Johnny Depp who has been nominated for multiple Oscars and Golden Globes awards, has 77 credits to his prolific acting résumé and has a smokeshow wife in Amber Heard. But our boy Johnny here appeared to be lit like a Christmas tree while presenting at the 2014 Hollywood Film Awards on Friday night. Depp gave a bizarre, expletive-filled speech honoring talent manager Shep Gordon during the CBS live broadcast of the award show.
Depp starts with some observational “humor,” “That’s the weirdest microphone I’ve ever seen in my life. Right?” No, it wasn’t. Then he rambles on, I’m not really good at this kind of thing. Watch I’m gonna read this thing.” Jeez Johnny, this isn’t your cousin’s third wedding at some Ramada in Sheboygan, Wisconsin and you’re asked to give a spontaneous speech about the newlyweds. Get your shit together and act like you’ve been there before. The only things I can hypothesize is that he’s practicing for his role as Jack Sparrow for Pirates of the Caribbean 5. So now I ask you, if Depp was enjoying the high of alcohol and/or drugs, which I have no idea if he was or was not, what ones do you think it would be?
You can stop watching the video after the 1:12 mark for there are no more possibly drunken Depp shenanigans.