The late-night host decided to hold his own unauthorized auditions for the hotly anticipated Fifty Shades of Grey movie. As far as anyone knows, Kimmel is not affiliated with the motion picture in any way. And he’ll have to keep losing weight if he wants to be the title role. Like, enough to make us forget he was ever Jimmy Kimmel.

What transpired was predictably awkward and, at times, oddly hot. It wasn’t as good as Real Sex or anything, but definitely worth a few of your precious laughs.

[H/T: Guyism]