In the "Seinfeld" episode “The Opposite,” George isn’t having success with the way things are going in his life. He decides to scrap the way he’s been doing things and go in the opposite direction, starting with what he orders for lunch. Within minutes he meets a girl at Monk’s diner, admitting up front that he's bald, unemployed, and lives at home with his parents. But what does all this have to do with "Jersey Shore?" Have patience young grasshopper. Let me tell the story…
Chicken Salad, on Rye, Untoasted
Based on what Vinny showed in courting Ramona, he goes against everything we guys have been taught growing up. Yet somehow, he ends up having his George Costanza moment. If you remember, Vinny got stood up by a girl named Ramona three episodes ago. He played the situation like an intimidated fool and the girl never showed up for the date. We find out this week that he’s still talking to this broad for some reason. You have to figure if the b*tch doesn’t show up for the first date, she’s not worth talking to anymore. Yet somehow she’s still around and Vinny makes plans with her to go to the beach. Typically Ramona still hasn’t shown up to meet Vinny after he’s been waiting for two hours. He then gets a call from a couple other girls who want to head to the beach and he decides to go with them. Of course, within seconds he gets a call from Ramona who says she’s nearby and can’t find the house.
Vinny has a decision to make. Does he play games with the girl who almost blew him off for a second time or does he go to the beach with the two sure things? The playbook says to drop the girl who you can’t trust and go for the two girls. Vinny goes in the other direction because he feels there’s something special with Ramona. Everyone must’ve had that painful feeling in their stomach watching it happen. It’s like when you watch a horror flick and you see one of those stupid girls go through a door behind which you know there’s trouble.
Despite having a rat for a dog (I’ll never understand why girls see those little pieces of shit as good dogs; at least buy a real f*cking dog like a Jack Russell Terrier if you’re going to go small), Ramona actually turns out O.K.. She smiled all day hanging out with Vinny and he had the goods to kiss her at the end of the night. He even played it well with a short kiss that had her reaching out for more. I’m not exactly sure how this happened, but Vinny went against everything we’ve learned as a gender and it still worked. Ramona even blocked The Situation’s robbery on her at Clutch a few nights later. Maybe it’s time to start from scratch…
We’ve Got A Negative Situation
I’ve harped in this space how rumors have swirled that the housemates have gotten tired of The Situation. It becomes very apparent based on his conduct towards the end of this episode and it has nothing to do with the fact that he looks like a Chippendale’s dancer (nice one Snooki) with that vest on over his T-shirt. He starts off by being incredibly aggressive with chicks at the bar. (As a sidetone, this led to the best moment of the episode as Sammi tells Ronnie she’d say “hell no” if The Situation pulled that shit with her and then Ronnie points out that it did work because she made out with him the first time she met him.) After failing miserably, he gets agitated and wants to leave. He yells at Snooki since she’s hanging out with some guy and doesn’t want to leave right away. He’s not getting what he wants and the meltdown has begun.
The next night they’re out again, but this time he isn’t as aggressive. After failing to pull the robbery with Ramona, he sits on the couch and stares down Ramona and Vinny like a f*cking creep. The meltdown gets so bad that he rolls over to Snooki and tries to make out with her. He’s lost it at this point and he slaps her in the face when she won’t leave the club. He starts yelling and cursing because he didn’t get his way. The guy needs to shape up fast.
- I know they don’t have lobsters in the water near Poughkeepsie, but why on earth would Snooki think lobsters eat insects? I should learn not to question why she says things.
- What happened to the T-shirt time song? We only got to hear it once in this episode? We miss it, so bring it back!
Still to Come
The downward spiral continues for The Situation as he seems to blow his top again. God only knows what he does after he brings home a girl and she doesn’t sleep with him. How come that only happens to him, yet Pauly D closes every time? It’s time for The Situation to realize he’s not the master. It’s Pauly D.