On Thursday night, the motley Gang from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" returns for a new season of depraved hijinks. Personally, I can't wait. In honor of the occasion, I channeled my inner Guy Fieri to compile an exhaustive guide to the many unique -- and straight up bizarre -- food and beverage combinations that "It's Always Sunny" has introduced over the years. Can you imagine a world without a Frank Reynolds' rum ham, Sweet Dee's wine-in-a-can, or Charlie Kelly's milksteak? I'm not quite sure that's a world I want to live in. Here's how you throw down Paddy's Pub-style.

Let's kick things off with a glass of wine in a can...

 

It's surprisingly simple:

 

Siphoned from a boxed, of course:

 

Best of all, it's discreet!

 

And really helps you calm down:

 

Time for shots!

 

Did someone say Shotgun Shot? Now things are getting crazy...

 

Snack time:

 

Let's get back to drinking...

How about a spontaneous trip to the beach? Don't forget tequilla in a sunscreen bottle...

 

Chased with actual sunscreeen...

 

Because... 

 

On the way home, we'll grab some steaks at Dave and Busters:

 

Just don't use Charlie Kelly's steak knife:

 

Finally, it's time for a game of flip-cup:

 

The loser has to eat an eraser:

 

Or stickers:

 

Watch yourself while pumping that keg, bro! 

 

And don't drink too much or you'll get terrible ideas like this:

 

OK? Now let's relax with a few beers:

 

Maybe change things up a little bit:

 

Since we're drinking outside, it's time for the poolside Chinese food:

 

Don't go overboard:

 

If you need a late night snack after all that boozing, there's always cat food, beer, and glue:

 

Or Hot Pockets...

 

A word of wisdom when eating Hot Pockets: 

 

And please try to avoid pears as much as possible:

 

For lunch, we suggest a "Grilled Charlie"

 

Or perhaps a rum ham:

 

Especially during an afternoon at sea:

 

If you're having a night in with your best buddy, bring pizza and beer:

 

Hopefully he shows up:

 

 

Drown those sorrows with a keg-stand:

If you want to beef up and cultivate some mass...

 

Just carry around trash bag full of Mexican food:

 

See!

 

Except...

 

You did it to yourself, Bro! 

 

If Mexican isn't your thing and you're really starving, there's always handsoap and toilet water:

 

Or cat food:

 

Or a nice egg:

 

Or shrimp:

 

Or chestnuts:

 

Spaghetti is good... 

 

Because you can take it anywhere...

 

And what's a trip to Philly without a cheesesteak?

 

In case of a zombie apocalypse, you can always resort to cannibalism:

 

Or maybe just monkey:

 

Get that taste out of your mouth...

 

Foulness. Time to chill out...

 

Let's end with a toast to the greatest It's Always Sunny meal of all time: Milksteak and "the finest" jellybeans.

 

Props to The Gang Gets a Blog for the GIFs and dialouge multi-panels.