The ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Guide to Eating and Drinking

Let's kick things off with a glass of wine in a can…

 

It's surprisingly simple:

 

Siphoned from a boxed, of course:

 

Best of all, it's discreet!

 

And really helps you calm down:

 

Time for shots!

 

Did someone say Shotgun Shot? Now things are getting crazy…

 

Snack time:

 

Let's get back to drinking…

How about a spontaneous trip to the beach? Don't forget tequilla in a sunscreen bottle…

 

Chased with actual sunscreeen…

 

Because… 

 

On the way home, we'll grab some steaks at Dave and Busters:

 

Just don't use Charlie Kelly's steak knife:

 

Finally, it's time for a game of flip-cup:

 

The loser has to eat an eraser:

 

Or stickers:

 

Watch yourself while pumping that keg, bro! 

 

And don't drink too much or you'll get terrible ideas like this:

 

OK? Now let's relax with a few beers:

 

Maybe change things up a little bit:

 

Since we're drinking outside, it's time for the poolside Chinese food:

 

Don't go overboard:

 

If you need a late night snack after all that boozing, there's always cat food, beer, and glue:

 

Or Hot Pockets…

 

A word of wisdom when eating Hot Pockets: 

 

And please try to avoid pears as much as possible:

 

For lunch, we suggest a “Grilled Charlie”

 

Or perhaps a rum ham:

 

Especially during an afternoon at sea:

 

If you're having a night in with your best buddy, bring pizza and beer:

 

Hopefully he shows up:

 

 

Drown those sorrows with a keg-stand:

If you want to beef up and cultivate some mass…

 

Just carry around trash bag full of Mexican food:

 

See!

 

Except…

 

You did it to yourself, Bro! 

 

If Mexican isn't your thing and you're really starving, there's always handsoap and toilet water:

 

Or cat food:

 

Or a nice egg:

 

Or shrimp:

 

Or chestnuts:

 

Spaghetti is good… 

 

Because you can take it anywhere…

 

And what's a trip to Philly without a cheesesteak?

 

In case of a zombie apocalypse, you can always resort to cannibalism:

 

Or maybe just monkey:

 

Get that taste out of your mouth…

 

Foulness. Time to chill out…

 

Let's end with a toast to the greatest It's Always Sunny meal of all time: Milksteak and “the finest” jellybeans.

 

Bro… Do you even follow me on Twitter? 

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: brandon@brobible.com