Hilary Duff Finally Gave A Reason For Joining Tinder So Dumb That You May As Well Huff Some Glue Before Reading

Tinder has been around for at least 3 years at this point, and if anyone I know tried to say “I’ve never heard of Tinder. Hmm. What an interesting phone application” I’d go ahead and push them off a cliff because if you’re living a life that oblivious to the world around you it was gonna happen anyway; might as well just speed up the process so the gene pool doesn’t get any more polluted.

As for Hilary Duff, well, she doesn’t need a good shovin’ yet. Yet. But she claims that she was “fascinated” by the millions of people who use Tinder. Okay Hilary, sorry us peasants need to click around on a glorified “hot or not” app to get laid and can’t just roll up anywhere with a fucking nametag that says “I’m literally Hilary Duff. Come flirt with me and maybe you can smell my hair” (yes this is what I imagine Hilary Duff does when she’s looking to get hit on).

Speaking to Sunrise‘s Sam Armytage and DAvid ‘Kochie’ Koch, Duff said

…the 27-year-old [Hilary Duff, come on now did I really have to put this in here?] said she was fascinated by the fact that there were 15 million people using the mobile phone application.

‘The Tinder thing was more of a social experiment than me really trying to find an online date or trying to find love,’ she told the Channel Seven morning hosts.

‘I didn’t take it too seriously.’

Introducing Nobel Prize winning scientist Hilary Duff, whose groundbreaking social experiment that involved her going on a Tinder date succeeded in one thing and one thing only: nothing. Impressive stuff right there.

The mother-of-one added that she was introduced to Tinder when she noticed a lot of her friends were using it on a regularly.

‘The idea kinda sparked to include this in my video and go on some blind dates because I had never been on a blind date before,’ she said.

Oh my God SHUT UP THIS WASN’T YOUR FUCKING IDEA. You had a publicist somewhere who was like “How can we get people to give a shit about Hilary Duff again?” and then some OTHER publicist was like ‘How about we make it look like she’s just ‘one of us’ and have her go on a bunch of Tinder dates?” Then everyone in the room jumped up for high-fives and took the rest of the day off to go golfing. This was not a “social experiment,” and considering that MOST people are on Tinder if it actually took this long for Hilary to notice her friends were on it, well, girlfriend needs some cataracts.

And if you think I’m just being overly cynical, then the fact that she threw clips from her totally-not-staged-at-all Tinder date into her new music video should sway you otherwise. It’s been 7 years since HIlary Duff did anything music-related, so props to her PR team for pulling this off and making people actually give a shit about her music.

Normally I’d go ahead and post her video now, but I’m not going to. I ain’t feeding into this web of lies that is Hilary Duff’s Tinder “Experiment.” I have standards…ha.

[H/T Daily Mail]