The Winners And Losers Of ‘Game Of Thrones’ Season 5 Episode 4’s ‘The Sons Of The Harpy’

In this week’s ‘Game of Thrones’ recap we’ll take a look at all the winners and losers from Season 5, Episode 4’s ‘The Sons of the Harpy’. If your mind is exploding out the back of your head after this week’s ending, don’t worry: you’re not alone. After meeting the Sand Snakes as well as losing some of our most cherished characters we have an awful lot to discuss regarding this week’s Game of Thrones episode. So without further ado, here’s everything that went down in this week’s Game of Thrones episode, our ‘Winners and Losers’ recap:

Game of Thrones Recap: Season 5, Episode 4 ‘The Sons of the Harpy’

LOSER: Tyrion Lannister

Nothing in Tyrion’s life has ever been easy, and it only appears that things for the Halfman are becoming more difficult. Last week’s episode of Game of Thrones culminated with Tyrion getting snatched up by Ser Jorah Mormont, the former knight of Westeros who had recently been exiled by his true love and khaleesi, Daenerys Targaryen. Ser Jorah seems to believe that if he can present Tyrion to his queen all will be forgiven, which based on what we’ve seen from Dany’s recent behavior chances are she’ll give Tyrion a crown and chop off Jorah’s manhood for being in a brothel.

Tyrion’s on the exact same journey he was before, to see the queen Daenerys Targaryen. Only now he’s tied up like a hog and heading there in a boat with a man the Queen despises. Tyrion’s gift of gab will be his greatest strength on this journey, as I suspect it’ll take no time before Tyrion’s gotten into Jorah’s head.

Toss in the fact that the very next scene is of Jamie Lannister and Ser Bronn the Sellsword, and we finally see some acting chops from Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jamie Lannister) in a scene where he describes how he’ll chop his brother in two if he ever sees him again, and we’re seeing a pretty dark world for Tyrion. On the other hand, it sounds like Jamie and Bronn are going to have a helluva time in Dorne trying to rescue Jamie’s incestuous daughter with Cersei (Myrcella). From what Bronn has to say it sounds like Dorne is my kind of place, so this will be a fun plot line to watch.

We get another glimpse of Tyrion + Ser Jorah later in the episode, and already Tyrion’s gotten under his skin, so good on him for that. Only I suspect that Jorah will torture and kill Tyrion before they even get there if the Halfman keeps up his current level of poking and prodding.

LOSER: Mace Tyrell

The newly minted Master of Coin just bombed. He tried to deliver an obvious joke, some how hanging fruit. And it straight up fizzled. Talking about how he could lend Cersei and the crown money requested from the Iron Bank, he dropped ‘or I’ll have words with my daughter’ expecting a laugh. Silence. Deafening silence. Then Cersei tosses back his offer, because she doesn’t want to be any further indebted to this man than she already is.

It’s rare to see an attempt at comedy on this show from someone who isn’t Tyrion or Jamie, but man, that was uncomfortable. Cersei then sends Mace Tyrell off to treat with the Iron Bank in person. You get the sense that something dark will happen to the Tyrell patriarch in the near future, which is kind of a bummer because he doesn’t seem like all too crappy of a guy.

WINNER: The High Sparrow

This man who we only recently met just got his own army: The Faith Militant. He just became one of the most powerful men in Westeros. He’s got an opportunity to handpick his murderers in the name of the Seven Gods of Westeros. Dude just got HOOKED UP by Cersei.

All that, AND Cersei throws Queen Margaery’s brother under the bus by giving up his name and calling him out a sinner. You might remember Ser Loras as the man who used to bang Renly Baratheon, but now sleeps with dudes all over the place. Cersei’s pissed that Queen Margaery’s power is growing, so she’s looking to keep her in check by tossing her brother in shackles. Not cool.

Then we get a glimpse of the Faith Militant in action. They’re tearing up whorehouses, they’re breaking casks of wine, ruining all the fun. On top of that they’re carving that weird seven-sided star onto their foreheads! These guys are religious fanatics. Among them is Cersei’s own cousin, Lancel Lannister, who she used to make whoopy with when Jamie was at war. Now this dude’s a stone cold badass.

After Ser Loras is put behind bars Queen Margaery storms off to talk with Tommen, who has no clue whatsoever that his mother’s the biggest beotch in the seven kingdoms.

After showing up to the house of the High Sparrow we get our first peak at what’s certain to be a showdown between the Faith Militant and the King’s Men. Tommen gets brushed back because the High Sparrow’s off praying, and Tommen’s not man enough to do anything about it. He also deals with a ton of insults hurled his way about being a ‘bastard’ and an ‘abomination’, which is all true of course, but not something he’s ever dealt with in person until now.

Margaery Tyrell is not having any of her husband being a lil punk. It’s her brother behind bars, and she’s taking this shit seriously.

LOSER: Jon Snow

Being the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch comes at a price, and for Jon Snow that price is having to beg the family that murdered his half-brother and step-mother. He has to sign his name to a letter to Roose Bolton, the Warden of the North, requesting men and supplies for the Night’s Watch. Jon Snow could just take Stannis’ offer to be the ruler at Winterfell if he just gave up his vows and the Black, instead he’s choosing to ask the man who murdered his brother for help.

This all took place after a sad conversation between Stannis and his wife, where it’s obvious that Stannis’ wife thinks her child with dragon scale marks is some sort of freak. Not cool mom, not cool at all.

In this same run of events we’ve got the Red Lady Melisandre trying to throw her vajayjay all up on Jon Snow’s lap. Somehow he turns that down, I guess that’s why he’s a loser here.

It’s obvious that both Stannis and the Lady Melisandre think Jon Snow has some greater purpose in this world. They’re staying close to him at all times, waiting for Jon Snow to realize his potential, whatever that may be….Which brings me to something that’s been bothering me so far this season: where he hell has Jon Snow’s direwolf, Ghost, been? We’ve seen a few glimpses of Ghost, but haven’t yet had a scene where a direwolf is integral to anything. And that’s not cool with me, because the wolves are one of the most badass parts of this series.

WINNER: Shireen Baratheon

Ol’ Stannis ‘I don’t smile at weddings’ Baratheon finally broke down and showed some emotion. He gave his darling daughter Shireen the hug and affirmation of love that every child should get from their parents. Stannis’ wife is cold-hearted beotch, and Shireen will never get the love and affection she needs from her. But finally we get the back story on Shireen’s sickness, and how much he loves his daughter.

This was a powerful scene. The Game of Thrones production team did quite a few things here. Firstly they made Stannis a human, and not some cold/calculating warrior who is constantly harping on about how he’s the rightful King of Westeros. Secondly they really brought out Shireen as a character. I’d suspect that she’ll be an integral character around Stannis in the coming episodes, or why else would they build her up so much?