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Female Hasidic Rock Group Bans Men From Attending Their Shows, Angering Roughly Zero Men

By / 08.07.14

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Tonight, everyone’s favorite all-female Hasidic rock group, Bulletproof Stockings, is set to play at NYC’s Lower East Side venue, Arlene’s Grocery. But don’t you dare think of showing up if you’re a dude; you won’t be permitted entry.

The female duo follows Orthodox rules that state they’re not allowed to play in front of men. They’re also supposed to cover their knees, hair and elbows. Is anyone really getting chubbed over elbows? I’ve never heard a dude say, “you get a load of the elbows on that chick?” And I’m not sure if the rules state only those three things need to be covered, but the rest of the body is fair game. That’d be pretty sweet if they showed up rocking hats, knee pads, and elbow pads, and were just completely everywhere else, full Jewish bush blowing in the wind.

Determined to still play a set, the girls of BS were able to convince the owner of Arlene’s Grocery to allow them to play a females-only show. After some convincing, Arlene’s gave it the go-ahead. I kinda want to sneak into this thing just because of how amazing the girl-guy ratio would be.

I love religion. The Orthodox rule that they can’t play in front of men is pretty hilarious. I would love to know the religious justification for that. When they were writing the Orthodox laws, I’m sure one of the guy who was involved had a wife who was a really terrible and annoying musician. She’d always be like, “Abraham, you never come to any of my shows!” He quickly got sick of the headache, and decided to add in this provision, and then was able to get out of it by saying, “Ah, damn, honey! You know I would kill to come see you play, but God said I can’t, so guess I’m just gonna have to hang here with the guys and do something I actually enjoy. So pissed!”

This is my favorite line from the NY Post article

So far, there have been no complaints from men about being excluded, even though Darling is confident they will sell out the venue.

Hahahaha, no shit. Don’t hold your breath for those calls to pour in any time soon, ladies.

 


TAGShasidic bandReligionrock and roll
Brandon Cohen
About Brandon Cohen... Brandon Cohen was raised by Jew gypsies on the sleepy island of Manhattan, and went on to defy the odds by graduating from a four-year accredited university in Nashville, TN. He's a writer and aspiring street fight videographer. Back in 2008, Brandon talked to Amanda Bynes at a club in LA for over fifteen minutes.

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