Snooki is reportedly pregnant with a human child, according to the New York Post. Now, I’m only posting this because people are going to be talking about it today and you need to be prepared. Well, that and it’s serving as a mental coping mechanism as I process the information that the tanning enthusiast will soon be responsible for a helpless little baby.

Snooki, who has the given name of Nicole Polizzi, has repeatedly denied that her boyfriend Jionni Lavalle or any other man knocked her up. However, sources tell the Post that the “Jersey Shore” person has brokered a deal to break the “exclusive” news of her pregnancy with US Weekly.

In what has to be a complete coincidence, Snooki and drinking partner JWow have begun filming their spinoff show in New Jersey. It’s crazy that this news would happen right during the show’s publicity push, huh?