Last Monday, I attended The Watch premiere starring Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and a young OJ Simpson. The story is this: after a murder at the local Costco that Stiller manages, he forms a badass neighborhood watch to protect their beloved town in middle of the fuck nowhere. However, he quickly realizes that his team's real goals range from drinking with the boys to getting their nobs worked by Asian house wives. When they do finally stumble upon the murderer, it's worse than they expected and these idiots now are the only thing that can stop it. (hint: it's not a shark.)

The film delivers on some big laughs, and Jonah Hill works really well with this older pairing of comedy icons (Stiller and Vaughn for those of you who just moved here from China). Also, Stiller’s movie wife has an amazing rack and there is an orgy scene (but it is way too brief so stick to Xvideos if that's your main draw to this film).

As for the after party, it was held at the Roosevelt and hosted by Axe. The buffet was quite delightful, overlooking the pool and surrounded by bulimic models. The beef stroganoff was particularly tasty. Stiller, Vaughn, Hill and Edward Norton were all in attendance. After seeing them in person, I have no idea how they shoot them on camera together. They must put stiller in high heels and cut off Vaughn's feet or something. But I guess that is the magic of filmmaking. That and the amount of incredibly young snatch that you get for being a star.

So go see The Watch, and wash your balls with Axe, cause I want to keep attending these events.