Entertainment
by Tolly Taylor on May 16, 2014

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

In the final chapter of our three-part series, I give you the biggest bros in movies of the past decade. You’re welcome.

#1. The Notebook (2004)

NOT. Trying to describe what makes a bro a bro isn’t easy. But to see what it’s not, just look at Ryan Gosling’s character in The Notebook. Definitely NOT a bro; in fact, pretty safe to say he’s the antithesis of all things bro. What goes here instead? Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Ron Burgundy. It’s quite pungent.

#2. Batman Begins (2005)

There’s really no debating that Batman’s badass, but that’s not what this list is about – it’s about bros, and that’s exactly what Bruce Wayne is. How does he get around Gotham? In a Lamborghini. Who accompanies him? Two models. What does he do at the nicest hotel in Gotham? Goes swimming with those two models, and then buys the hotel when they try to throw him out. Move over, Tony Stark—Bruce Wayne did it first, and he did it better.

#3. 300 (2006)

If you think about it, 300 is just a movie about your traditional, run-of-the-mill uber jacked, gym bros. Instead of lifting in slow motion, they fight in slow motion. Instead of speaking like normal people, they speak in stilted, clichéd phrases. Instead of having each other’s backs figuratively, they have them literally.

#4. Superbad (2007)

I’ve decided McLovin in Superbad is the younger version of McLovin in the just released Neighbors. That’s just a revelation I wanted to share. McLovin’s original incarnation is The Tool to Rule All Tools, but it’s his attitude that counts. Through and through, McLovin’s a bro. Go ahead, just this one time, and judge a book by its cover—his frickin’ name is McLovin. Screams bro.

#5. Step Brothers/Pineapple Express (2008)

So there’s a set of bros that become brothers, and a set of bros that might as well be brothers in these two classics from 2008. Ferrell and Reilly show us how to avoid growing up, thanks to forgiving parents, and Rogen and Franco also show us how to avoid growing up, except without forgiving parents. Sound like the same movie? While neither one boasts the most original plot, I’d argue they’re both worth seeing and adding to your bro collection.

#6. The Hangover/Zombieland (2009)

Alan gets the laughs, but Phil gets the ladies. He’s the bro of the group, and though he’s now saddled with a bunch of dorky friends in middle age, you can tell he was all Frat in college. And Tallahassee in Zombieland? Why, he’s in middle age and he’s still the life of the party. In fact, considering how few people are actually still alive in Zombieland, there’s a strong case to be made that he is the party—the last damn party in the entire world. So, yeah, total bro.

#7. The Other Guys (2010)

For some reason, The Other Guys is the odd man out when discussing great comedies. I’m here to say that’s bullshit. Will Ferrell’s known for playing the lovable idiot, but he gives an underrated performance here, becoming an unwitting pimp and showing unending disdain for his otherworldly hot wife. “Gator’s bitches better be using jimmies!”

#8. Crazy, Stupid, Love/Drive (2011)

What do you get when you combine Ryan Gosling’s characters from Love and Drive? Barnie Stinson’s wet dream. That’s right, together, they form a lady-slaying, suit-wearing, kickass-car-driving super bro. Stinson may own the bro code, but no doubt Gosling’s characters’ wrote it.

#9. 21 Jump Street/Ted (2012)

These movies are sort of like what would happen if Dumb and Dumber somehow joined the police force, and then became a deadbeat and a teddy bear. In other words, they’re awesome—maybe the quintessential bro adjective.

#10. This Is The End (2013)

Finally. Finally. FINALLY, Danny McBride gets a movie role worthy of his comedic chops. Unsurprisingly, he steals the fuckin’ show. Playing the same character he plays in Eastbound and Down—perhaps because that’s actually who he is—McBride goes nuts, both literally and figuratively, spreading his ejaculate everywhere and driving his housemates crazy. It’s an award winning performance that simply won no awards.

Tolly Taylor is a contributing writer to BroBible.

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