I’ve worked as a bartender, cocktail waitress, hostess, you name it. All, luckily, at the same place for five years. I’ve made some amazing friends, some Showtime show-worthy enemies, learned some tough life lessons and above all, learned the most important lesson of all: don’t fuck with the people that handle your food and drinks.
It got to a point where I thought what the fuck man, let’s make a show. So my two friends and I – both of whom work with me at our restaurant – decided to compile some of the best stories we had about customers, coworkers, management, and experiences we all had and write a five episode web series called “Front of House.” It was so easy, I felt like I was doing something wrong. But the truth was, I think it was just so easy because writing what you know is the best way to do it. And I know a lot about oddball customers, shady as fuck waiters, bad tippers, craft beers, drunk finance guys in fleece vests, terrible tourists, amazing regulars, and above all good friends who get you through all the shit of being a server.
In the last year or so I’ve seen a lot of articles – two of my own in fact – go viral online over stories involving the service industry. A preacher changing an automatic 18% tip on a party of 10 to 10% and leaving the note “I give God 10% why would I give you 18?” A story about a family leaving no tip and a note on a gay waiter’s check saying, “we can’t tip you because of your lifestyle.” An incredibly long, whining article by Kyle Smith from The New York Post about why he hates servers in restaurants – because apparently we all force him to come out to eat in our restaurants because God knows we all want guys like that dickfuck at our tables – and this week, a story about a girl who was fired for refusing to pay out of pocket for a $96 check three businessmen walked out on at The Pig & Whistle in Time Square – two blocks from my own restaurant. Hell, there's even an entire Facebook page dedicated to the reasons Why Bartenders and Servers Hate People.
I think there’s always such an interest in these stories because without a doubt, you see the absolute worst of humanity come out in a restaurant. People who spend five hundred bucks and refuse to tip. Needy people who treat servers like servants. A server’s dependency on tips from strangers from all walks of life makes our jobs interesting. There is a fascination there that I can’t really explain. And I think anyone who has ever had a service industry job gets it. I wanted to write a show for them, but also a show that shows people who have never been in the industry what our lives are like and who we really are, and why we deserve your money for doing more than putting your food down and cracking your beers. I wanted to write a show about life, and this is what I came up with.
We have an amazing opportunity to film a really good web series about this life. To do the stories that go viral justice. And above all, to entertain the fuck out of an audience with great stories and a ridiculously good cast that has insane chemistry (mainly because we do all work together on a daily basis). We need help and so we put together this Kickstarter video to appeal to the masses. John Carey and Ryan Preimesberger, my cast mates, are two of the funniest fucking people I have ever met. They’ve been working with me for as long as I can remember, but are actors at heart (and by profession) and they will help make this web series as authentic as humanly possible. They are Bros to the core, and I would love nothing more than for them to be able to share their own stories themselves in this web series.
So do us a solid: Throw a little money our way and help us bring this shit to life. It’s good, it’s quality, it’s well written, the cast is bangin’ and anyone who has ever so much as held a busboy position at some point in their lives will appreciate it and relate to it to no end. But also, anyone who has never worked in a service industry, you’ll get it too. Because whether or not you’ve ever served a table, you’ve worked for an asshole. You’ve struggled, you’ve made bad decisions, fucked up and tried to get your life on a better path before. You’ve worked your ass off and had a goal. And honestly, that’s what the web series Front of House is – just a look at the lives of three friends who all happen to work in the industry, all for very different reasons with very different hopes. And if you’re telling me there’s one Bro on this site who can’t appreciate all of that, I’d never believe it.
Please watch the video, get an idea of who we are and how we operate and check out the pretty sick incentives we’re offering for donations. If you can’t donate we get it – shit is tight – but please share the Kickstarter page and see if any of your buds might take an interest in it. Gracias friends.