Entertainment
by Toby Davis on May 9, 2014

clueless-chick

Chances are you’ve dated at least a few of these movie character personality types. Here are nine girls you’ll date in your 20s.

1. The One You’re Always Bailing Out of a Jam (Mary Jane Watson – Spider-Man, 2002)

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Spider-Man helps Mary Jane bust out of more jams than a free sample vendor at a peanut butter and jelly convention for elementary school kids. Similar to Mary Jane, this girl will constantly ask you to help her out of sticky situations: It’ll start with small and reasonable things like giving her a ride somewhere, but it’ll quickly escalate to you paying for every single drink, every meal, and every shopping trip when she “forgets her card” at home. Unfortunately, the jams will be much less heroic than saving a girl from falling from a high distance on multiple occasions.

Runner Up: Pretty much any super hero love interest

2. The One That’s Out of Your League (Betty Childs — Revenge of the Nerds, 1984)

Betty

In Revenge of the Nerds, Betty Childs is a cheerleader who for almost the entire movie is dating the biggest jock (Stan) at school because this movie was made in the 80s. After head nerd Lewis Skolnick takes her boyfriend’s mask at a costume themed carnival and pretends to be Stan, he tricks her into having sex with him in a moon bounce room pretending to be Stan the whole time. Whoa. I just realized that he pretty much trick raped her in that movie. The 80s were a different time apparently.

Betty eventually falls in love with super nerd Lewis at the end of the movie, because their fraternity wins the talent competition and she likes his sensitive side. Anyway, dating a girl that’s out of your league is tough because you’ll be constantly worried about her leaving you for that jock Stan.

Runner Up: Molly from She’s Out of My League – This was too obvious a choice to elaborate on

3. She’s Too Young for You Bro (Molly Tracey – 21 Jump Street, 2012)

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Now you may not be going into a high school as an undercover cop, but you may have the opportunity of dating someone a few years younger than you when you’re in your 20s. There’s a big difference between dating someone four years younger than you when you’re 29 and when you’re 21. You may meet your younger sister’s friends or friend’s younger sister after not seeing them for three to four years while you were in college, but I would recommend resisting the urge of trying to date them. Trying to date someone a few years under 21 after you turn 21 is generally a bad idea, and they may just be using you to get them booze for the house parties you’ll look very creepy and out of place at if you attend.

Runner Ups: Samantha Baker from Sixteen Candles (1984) – She turns 16. Clorette Depasto (stuffed bra, shopping cart 13 year old) from National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978) – Try to meet up with these ladies and you’ll be having a seat with Chris Hansen

4. The Partier (Caroline – Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, 2008)

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This is the girl that’ll try to convince you to go out on nights you know you really shouldn’t. If you don’t go out, you’ll still be getting a call from her at 2 a.m. to pick her up because you’re sober and have work at 6 a.m. the next day. When you go out with her she will claim that she can take just as many shots as you can, but after the 8th tequila shot she’ll be slurring that “I’m fine.” Caroline (the partier) gets drunk when she promises not too and ends up puking in your vicinity after an epic battle with speech and gravity.

Runner Up: Tara Reid’s characters (and real life situations) in pretty much anything from the late 90s to early 2000s were usually centered around a party.

5. The Tomboy (Letty – Fast & Furious 6, 2013)

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This is the girl you can watch sporting events with and she actually understands all the rules. She’ll shotgun a beer in front of you, fix your tire when you get a flat, and call you a pussy for considering the dangers of skydiving. Letty is the ultimate tomboy and badass in Fast & Furious 6, where she essentially comes back from the dead, suffers amnesia (classic soap opera move) and confronts everyone she comes into contact with. In a surprising plot twist, Fast & Furious 7 will primarily be centered around the drama that surrounds Letty (played by Michelle Rodriguez) breaking the news to Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) that she’s now a lesbian after she suffers yet another traumatic brain injury from jumping back and forth between moving cars.

Runner Up: Jenny – Out Cold (2001) – Nothing is much cooler than a hot chick that can snowboard and drink beers.

6. The One that’s Way More Successful than You (Katniss Everdeen – The Hunger Games, 2012)

katniss-everdeen

At some point in your 20s you’ll probably date someone who is much more successful than you. Whether it’s their job, where they live, or their ability to survive people trying to murder them, chances are you’re going to hit a time where you are working your way up in your career and you may start dating someone that’s already doing quite well. Katniss beat out every single kid in that murder contest, and you’d be a fool to think you could beat her when she possesses just the right amount of wilderness knowhow, archery skill, and sass.

Runner Up: Katniss Everdeen – The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) – I mean she won the kid murder super bowl for a second time, but she had some more help this time.

7. The Crazy Chick – Carrie (Carrie, 1976 & 2013)

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At some point you may date a crazy person. Crazy people are everywhere now. All you have to do is turn on an episode of something aired on TLC and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Now the girl you date may not be dripping-in-blood-and-controlling-stuff-with-their-mind crazy, but they might be especially crazier during times of the month when they are personally dripping their own blood if you know what I mean. *Nudges elbow gently into ribs for approval*

Runner Up:  Nina Sayers – The Black Swan – Because anyone who pursues a career devoted solely to ballet is at least a little crazy, but not crazy enough to not make out with Mila Kunis.

8. The High-Maintenance One (Cher — Clueless, 1995)

clueless

There may not be a better time capsule of the 90s than Clueless, which landed smack dab in the middle of it in 1995. Sure it’s a bit over the top, but the style and slang used represents the 90s fairly well.

Cher was so high maintenance in Clueless that she befriended other people just to make them develop into more high-maintenance individuals. That’s pretty high maintenance. Luckily you can now tell how high-maintenance a girl is now by the number of selfies she takes of herself on social media.

Runner Ups: Regina George from Mean Girls and Amanda Beckett from Can’t Hardly Wait – Both very high maintenance in their own slow motion walk kinda way.

9. The One You Want to Marry (Princess Jasmine – Aladdin, 1992)

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Now granted she is an animated character in a Disney movie, but there are no rules against picking an animated character. Think about it. You’d be marrying into an extremely wealthy family that lives in a palace, has a tiger as a pet, and you’d live in a world where you could take your lady on flying carpet rides. Not everyone finds that special one they want to marry in their 20s, but when you do hopefully your lucky enough to think of her as your princess.

Runner Up: Hermione from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Emma Watson with the bonus of knowing magic would be pretty tough to top.

So while you may end up dating a Mary Jane Watson, a Letty, or a Cher, as long as she’s your princess you’ve found a keeper.

Toby Davis is a comedian originally from the plains of South Dakota and has been alive ever since birth. Follow him on Twitter here, or like his Facebook page.

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Toby Davis

About Toby Davis...

Toby Davis is a person who has been alive ever since birth and writes humorous articles on the internet. He has also created a board game, owns a toaster oven, and has kissed at least three girls. Like his Facebook page.