by Andy Moore on April 17, 2013

I couldn’t shake that feeling while previewing the precious two-hour blasts of air conditioning we’ll take in over this summer. For instance, there’s a Michael Bay flick…. But it’s a $25 million Point Break with bodybuilders. There’s a huge, glitzy DiCaprio film…. But it’s based off a novel known more for what it didn’t say than what it did. There’s Johnny Depp teaming up again with Pirates director Gore Verbinski…. But Depp, kind of unbelievably, plays a staccato-voiced Native American.

Even the one constant of summer films' last decade—the superhero flick—is barely represented this year. Man of Steel looks terrific, and Iron Man 3 will be fun, and The Wolverine hopefully won’t be just a cash grab, but that’s it.In their place? Unquestionably, science-fiction blockbusters. But more on that later.

So this is a weird year. And it didn’t feel right to give it a normal preview. We’re breaking everything up, then, to reflect both the schizophrenia of Hollywood, and the increasingly schizophrenic idea of what it is to be a bro itself. (DEEP!) Enjoy!2

CLICK HERE: Sci-Fi Bros Who Sometimes Debate If Greedo Shot First:

CLICK HERE: Funny Bros Who Want to Value the Laugh This Summer:

CLICK HERE: Bros Who Live for Shit Going Boom:

CLICK HERE: Cultured Bros Possibly Looking to Impress a Date:

CLICK HERE: Bros Who Are Not “Not High”:

1Kick-Ass was more of an ironic twist on the genre than a full-on embrace.The sequel will be more of the same.

2“Must-see” might be an overstatement.

Andy Moore

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