As much as Netflix raves about its streaming feature, there seems to be an abundant lack of 1980s high-thong adult entertainment and some of the "new releases" are so old they opened when I was eating lightning-blue Nerds and trying to get HJs in the theater. But while most of the movies you really want to see are still DVD only, Netflix is signing deals left and right so you can spend a little less time on YouJizz, and some more time on its streaming service.
So with the 17-week winter break a lot of you bastards are enjoying, you should add a bunch of these gems to your instant queue and continue to waste time like a king.
1. "School Ties"
David Greene (Brendan Fraser) is a Jewish teen whose football skills land him at a prestigious, WASPy Northeast prep school in the 1950s. Also stars Matt Damon as a rich kid who is desperately trying to to be the starting quarterback. When Greene's Jewish heritage is revealed, the tides of the school change.
In this doc*mentary set in the most dangerous valleys of Afghanistan, journalist Sebastian Junger ("The Perfect Storm") and director Tim Hetherington shed light on many human sides of war. Won Best Doc*mentary at Sundance.
3. "Black Hawk Down"
One of the most badass films ever made, this movie concentrates on U.S. Rangers and Delta Force teams as they attempt to kidnap two key players of the Somalian tribal regime. Based on a true story.
An amazing crime drama featuring Val Kilmer, Robert De Niro, and Al Pacino, in which "the line between cop and criminal isn't always well-defined." Tons of epic one-liners and automatic weapons.
5. "Jackass 2.5"
This edition of "Jackass" actually solidly expands on "Jackass 2." Expect Knoxville and Steve-O to do bat-shit insane drug-induced acts while Bam does his typically boring "I bet up my parents" act.
6. "Heartbreak Ridge"
GO AMERICA. That's all you'll be thinking as you watch Clint Eastwood as war veteran Tom Highway, who is assigned to get a bunch of new Marines into fighting shape and breaks them down through insults: "Sergeant, get that contraband stogie out of my face before I shove it so far up your ass that you'll have to stick a match up your noise to light it."
7. "Cocaine Cowboys"
Sure, it may inspire you to move to Miami in an effort to start moving the white-girl dance powder, but this doc*mentary is so much more. It goes deep into the killing, "Miami Vice" days, when people were unloading coke in broad daylight. Should be #1 on your queue.
At first glance, you may think this is an uber-hipster comedy, but Woody Harrelson keeps the movie running. Expect one of the greatest cameos ever by a comedic great.
A Scorsese masterpiece that features Joe Pesci, Sharon Stone, and De Niro. Cocaine, gambling, and Nevada desert murders: The pinnacle of 1970s and ’80s Las Vegas.
Lou Holtz may have this in his "adult video" section since the dude is obsessed. You've seen it a hundred times, but it's always worth another viewing. A small guy tries out for the ND football squad, with the smallest odds of actually making the team. I bet he makes it…
11. "The Beach"
After Richard (Leonardo DiCaprio) hears of a secret beach that defines paradise, he sets out to find the tropic location. Of course, all isn't perfect… shit gets wild. Beautiful beaches and hot babes, it should get you stoked for Spring Break '11.
12. "Days of Thunder"
Back in the day, Tom Cruise was a Bro king. In this flick he plays a stock car driver named Cole Trickle, and Nicole Kidman plays his post-crash doctor. Grab the Bud Heavies and cheer the years when Cruise didn't ruin America with Scientology. I mean look at that rad Mello Yello get-up he has on.