The granddaddy of all awards shows, the Academy Awards, is Sunday night. It's a very classy affair, what with the black ties and commitment to the art of acting and whatnot. But there's no reason to put on airs if you're just watching from home. In fact, it's a perfect time to get sloppy. So join us in the following drinking game.
One drink:
- Billy Crystal attempts to sing
- Billy Crystal mentions his age
- Someone praises Meryl Streep
- Meryl Streep is rendered speechless
- Harvey Weinstein is mentioned
- Billy Crystal mentions his height
- Billy Crystal inserts himself into movie footage
Two drinks:
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie PDA
- Jean Dujardin raises an eyebrow
- Jean Dujardin kisses someone
- Any cut away to George Clooney
- Comment about the show's length
- Acceptance speech is cut off by music
- Vampires are mentioned
- Joke about Ricky Gervais
- Someone thanks God
- Someone thanks their agent
- Someone thanks their parents
- Someone gets politicial
- Dragon tattoo joke
- Weight of statue is noted
- Brett Ratner mentioned
- Eddie Murphy mentioned
- Michael Douglas gets a shoutout
Three drinks:
- The Artist doesn't win best picture
- Someone aplogizes for their poor English
- Michael Douglas doesn't get a shoutout
- Billy Crystal makes you laugh
- You're tempted to mention how bushy Martin Scorcese's eyebrows are
- You fear that one day you'll accidentally watch "The Help"
- You realize you've actually seen "The Help"
- You realize Jonah Hill has lost, like, a lot of weight
- Sacha Baron Cohen shows up
Drink everything in the house and go loot the city:
- Sacha Baron Cohen shows up as The Dictator
- "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" wins Best Picture
Of course, if you get bored, you can just do this:
