The government is shut down. Now what?
Well, if you are like most Americans, then you probably don't care too much. How many people in this country don't work for the government? Around 8 percent of adult working Americans are employed by the US government. That is roughly 11 million people. That isn't a small number but in relative to the entire population, it is.
So what are we supposed to be doing during these times of hardships? Should we stop working and start rioting? If you think that's a good idea, try removing yourself from the equation for a minute. This is the real world folks. The government is shutdown, this isn't a time for violence, it is a time for getting shit done.
Here are the 20 things every governmental employee should do during this shutdown. Enjoy.
20. Eat 40 Tacos
Why not? If you have ever been challenged to a taco eating contest, this is the perfect time to do it. Find yourself a temporarily unemployed secret service agent and get to work. It is that simple.
19. Watch a movie
Spend this time catching up on all the blockbusters you missed this year. Don't wait for Iron Man 3 to hit the shelves, go see it at the cinema before it is to...wait what? I missed it? Dammit! Thanks Obama.
18. Work Out
You are always complaining about not having enough time to hit the gym, well, now you do. If you work for WIC, you have had plenty of time already you just didn't know it yet. Get in the gym and hit the weights hard. You will be surprised how amazing working out during the day feels. It reminds me of being unemployed. Too soon?
17. Catch up on Breaking Bad, But not Dexter.
Breaking Bad might not be the safest TV show to dive into right now, especially since you are temporarily unemployed, but it is worth the free time being as it is the greatest show on television. Well, it used to be the greatest show on TV before it ended just recently. Oh, if you watch Dexter, go ahead and stop after season four. You will thank me later.
16. Talk to a Stranger
Be careful with this one. Don't go talking to strangers on the corner of danger and crackville, be sensible with it. Maybe while in line at the supermarket you can strike up a conversation about how great the economy was in Die Hard. (Gas was less than $1/gallon)
15. Take a Road Trip
If this shutdown lasts too long, you won't have to worry about spending all your savings anyways so enjoy life for a change. Remember when you were a kid and spent all that birthday money on something awesome yet useless. Go do that. But for grown-ups, that would mainly be going to strip clubs. Do it anyways.
14. Play with your Kids
Call in sick from school, it's ok. They are allowed to be sick sometimes. Just don't take them to Yosemite just yet. If you don't have kids, please don't go play with someone else's kids. There are laws in place for things like that.
13. Learn another Language
Korean is by far the toughest thing I have ever tried to learn but since you won't be heading to work anytime soon, what else you have to do?
12. Go on YouTube and Start Clicking on Recommended Videos
Before long you will end up on the far side of YouTube that even they aren't sure how it got there. I once watched a guy boil tea while folding towels. It was five minutes long and I watched every second of it.
11. Read a Book About Reading Books
It sounds redundant and it is probably a ridiculous thing to ask but did you know there is an entire section at Barnes and Nobles about book reading? That seems a bit of a waste of time, right?
10. Watch some Baseball
Unless you live in a baseball town (aka Boston, New York, St Louis, Atlanta), then you probably don't even realize the MLB playoffs are going on right now. And most of the games start early in the day. No excuses now, you have the time to make a day game. Get out there and do it.
9. Listen to Miley Cyrus
But make sure to be drunk first. Otherwise you might end up angrier than a midget at a carnival.
What else are you going to do in the morning besides rally and do it all over again? It is time to suck it up and man the frick up!
7. It is Halloween time, watch a horror movie already!
Exactly what I just said, go watch a horror movie. There are about 4,938 different titles you could watch, just choose one and roll with it.
6. Write Tony Romo a love letter
It just feels like this guy is always getting hate mail. It is becoming somewhat of a sad story of his life. No one outside of Dallas fans, and not even all of them, hate him. Send him the love.
5. Balance your Checkbook
Or you could just pretend that you are smart enough to manage your money in your head. That usually works, right?
4. Play Grand Theft Auto V
This game is amazing and it is about time everyone was playing it. Just remember now, it is a game.
3. Clean Up your DVR
There is no reason to still have the finale of Lost on your DVR, move on.
2. Date a Supermodel
A man can dream, can't he?
1. Go to the White House
Visit the White House. They won't let you in because the government is shutdown but at least you can show up and remind the big wigs just how many people are suffering from such a childish standoff.