Upon learning recently that Ari Gold's wife on "Entourage" was never given a definitive name, other than "Mrs. Ari," I started to wonder what company she's been keeping in this "handle-less character society." How many other critical characters, in both TV and film, have been left without a true, or perhaps normal, name? The key word in all this is, of course, “critical.” Extras and one-line wonders are often left without anything more than "Bag Boy 1" or "Stripper 3."
It turns out that quite a few memorable roles never earned themselves a first or last name, although Clint Eastwood's famous "Man with No Name" isn't one of them — his character was actually named in each of the three classic Westerns that culminated in "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly." So who joins Mrs. Ari on the list? And is there precedence for a last-season or third act big reveal? Find out below.
Played by Perrey Reeves
According to multiple Jeremy Piven interviews, the mystery that is the first name of Mrs. Ari Gold will be solved before the end of the final season of "Entourage." We're hoping the mystery that is the areola circ*mference of Mrs. Ari Gold's n*pples is also solved as well.
"The Big Lebowski"
Played by Sam Elliot
No denying Sam was great alongside El Duderino in "Lebowski," but who would you pick to narrate your life: Sam Elliot or Morgan Freeman? Gut-wrenching decision if there ever was one. Both are great actors and have able voices, but even when it comes down to the intangibles it's still a really tough choice. On the one hand you have Elliot, who looks goddamn freaky without his signature stash, and on the other hand you have Freeman, whose face looks like the f*cking solar system. Gun to my head, I'm going Sam, unless Freeman is holding the gun.
The Soup Nazi
The Soup Nazi was not a main character in "Seinfeld," nor an actual Nazi, but he was memorable with his "No soup for you" catch phrase. He is also another character who had his real name (Yev Kassem) revealed in the show's final episode. In his case, it was when he was called to the stand to testify against Jerry and friends.
Played by Daniel Craig
In the credits and on the IMDB page, Craig's character is referred to as XXXX. At one point in the movie he even looks at the camera and says, "My name? If you knew that you'd be as clever as me."
"Get Smart" (TV Series)
Played by Barbara Feldon
Right now all I can think of is what a f*ckin’ sin it is that the Shoe Phone never became a reality. Anyway, throughout the run of the series, the mystery of Agent 99's name became a running joke. The day she gets married to Max someone sneezes when her name is said.
Bride of GOB
Played by Amy Poehler
George "GOB" Bluth II's wife on "Arrested Development" is never given a name other than "Bride of GOB." Although she only appears in a few episodes, the running joke on the show is that GOB doesn't even know her name. This is proven by him making several ill-fated attempts at guessing it.
Played by Edward Norton
I don't know if it was all the attention the name Tyler Durden got or my non-attention to detail, but it never dawned on me (until I researched this) that Ed Norton's character never had a name.
"Sex and the City"
Played by Chris Noth
Here's some riveting shit you'll never need to know about a show you probably never watched. And I told you I did some f*cking research. Mr. Big's first name "John" was revealed in the last episode of the series. Then, in the movie, it is revealed that his last name is Preston and his middle name is James. Use that slice of trivia when you're oicking up girls tonight.
"That 70s Show"
Played by Wilmar Valderrama
While Fez seems like a probable name for a little Hispanic boy -- or wherever the f*ck he is from (which is also a mystery) -- it is actually short for Foreign Exchange Student. The reason behind calling him Fez is that his real name is unpronounceable.
Guy on Couch
Played by Steven Wright
He only ever woke up to smoke pot. An existence some people actually dream of.
Played by Neil Flynn
The Janitor appeared in 170 episodes in the nine seasons that the TV series aired. It was once said, albeit in jest, that when the Janitor's name is finally revealed, the series will be over. However, in the final episode, he confesses to J.D. that his name is "Glenn Matthews." Then only seconds later, someone walks by and calls him "Tony." A better question to answer would have been how such an unwatchable show managed to last for nine seasons.