How do I know that this house is a vast improvement from the slum that the Pikes of UMiami were previously relegated to? Well, because I was a Pike at The U and our house was the pile of shit to end all piles of shit. Don't get me wrong, we always had an in-ground pool, which was the only amenity in the house worth bragging about, but it was a rare site to actually see it in a condition acceptable for use by humans.
Then there was the house itself, which was eventually deemed by the city in a condition not acceptable for use by humans. I believe the whole establishment was considered a fire hazard and shut down a year or so after I left. And it's not that we deserved a nice house, we treated that thing with the disrespect the inhumane conditions commanded, but we also should not have had to wake up with cockroaches on our beds (that's not slang for an ugly girl, although there were plenty of those, too) or watch the electrical box in our rooms catch fire half the time we turned on the lights -- that shit was almost as unsettling as the bathroom situation, which I don't even want to begin to talk about.
Below is what our new house will look like. It'll supposedly be ready for the fall of 2014 for a whole new crop of Pike Bros to tear apart. And this might be wishful thinking, but I sincerely hope a certain high-ranking official in the Pike National Headquarters had a hand in making this happen since he was a graduate advisor back when I was there.
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Tags: pi kappa alpha