The stage has been set. Florida State seems unstoppable and Auburn has had one of the wildest seasons in history. Each bowl game leading to tonight’s championship has been filled with drama and upsets at every turn. Everything points to an epic finale for college football this year. It just seems right that you as a viewer should spend the evening completely hammered so that you and your friends can sit down and scream obscenities that would make a sailor blush at college students playing an enjoyable sport. It is the American way after all.
If you can’t figure out a way to get the fermented potatoes and barley into your gullet fast enough during tonight’s game, fear not. I have done the thinking for you and created a drinking game that will last the duration of the contest.
Whether you’re a student at either Auburn or FSU and have been pre-gaming all day, or you’re a casual observer who needs an excuse to get white girl wasted on a Monday night, I hope you appreciate The Official 2014 BCS Championship Drinking Game.
Take a sip when:
· Brent calls Kirk “Herbie”
· The FSU band plays the Tomahawk Chop
· You see anyone in the crowd with a number 5 jersey
· You see anyone in the crowd wearing “War Eagle” apparel
· Any player crosses himself/points to the heavens
Take a Drink When:
· Brent says something stupid (Judgment call)
· Anyone talks about the “Heisman Slump” for Jameis Winston
· Anyone talks about whether FSU can stop Auburn’s run game.
· You see a commercial for either university
Chug When:
· Anyone mentions the “struggles” Winston went through this season.
· How amazing Auburn’s turn-around is. (Chug an extra two seconds if the new coach is mentioned)
· Anyone calls Winston a selfless player
· Red Lightning joins in FSU’s celebrations
Finish Your Drink When:
· Anyone calls Auburn the “Team of Destiny”
· Brent mentions any player’s girlfriend.
· A kickoff or punt is returned for a touchdown.
· The winning coach dodges the Gatorade bath
Pour One Out If:
· A player has to be carted off the field
· A streaker gets tackled by security
Enjoy the game tonight everyone.
That’s all for me. Study hard. Do what you love.
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