College
by Brandon Wenerd on October 3, 2013

The machines have been disinfected and students are being asked to not leave their laundry unattended. Ivy Gate has more details from an e-mail it exclusively obtained from the dorm master: 

Dear Saybrugians,

Someone has been doing weird, creepy, and (frankly) disgusting things in the Laundry Room.  This must stop immediately.  If you have observed something of this nature, or know who the perpetrator might be, please let me know.  I can’t imagine why someone would do these things, but it has got to stop, and we will take measures to be sure it does.

Thanks,    -Master Hudak

 

And Yale's Rumpus Magazine did an interview with a laundry poop victim:

To be honest it was mostly pure unadulterated incredulity of the are-you-fucking-kidding-me variety. I mean, the entire reason my laundry was in this top dryer in the first place was that someone had already urinated on it in the bottom dryer [emphasis ours], so I had to rewash the whole thing (with extra detergent). And I remember having thought back then, Well, at least they didn’t poop on it. But there you go. …

I did send an email to the Saybrook Master’s Office that included my plan to instigate a Laundry Vigil, which was not entirely a joke. My suitemates and I are still considering it, since now two of us have had our laundry urinated on. It’s an epidemic apparently.

 

The madness… The madness… The phantom pooper must be stopped.

[H/T: Time]

Laundry pic via Shutterstock

Brandon Wenerd

About Brandon Wenerd...

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's senior editor, guru of @brotips, and director of strategic partnerships. He joined BroBible in the fall of 2009 after graduating from Penn State. When he’s not writing, Brandon enjoys fishing, Phish, Philly sports, Dewey Beach, supporting live music, hot sauce, and beer. E-mail him with post ideas and news tips: brandon@brobible.com.

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