College
by Tucker Bradford on January 3, 2014

Taking part in hazing is like jerking off in my parent’s house. If I do it for too long, odds are that someone is going to catch me. So the #1 unspoken rule about bad behavior in Greek Life is to make it memorable don’t get caught.

Almost 95% of hazing is harmless, and fraternities shouldn’t get in trouble over most of it in the first place (spoiler alert: most don’t). But universities must, by law, take action against chapters if they uncover enough evidence to prove that they’re doing what everyone knows they're doing. So feel free to buy out the corner liquor store and spank all those bare freshmen assess all you want, just make sure those fuckers can keep their mouths shut.

Now, if you’re of the opinion that fraternities can never go too far, well, how do I put this diplomatically? You’re an illiterate dumbass. People have died, and women have been, you know, raped. I’m all for treating freshmen like the scum that they are and single-handedly attempting to chug every beer in America, but no one should be okay with fucking up people’s lives. Rape and homicide are not frat. Or bro, for that matter.

Here are six fraternities across America that at some point couldn’t keep their fun a secret, killed someone or otherwise had university authorities praying the story would only get as far as the local news. This is why people hate on Greeks.

Pi Kappa Alpha, University of Tennessee

This is probably the dumbest example on this list, purely because the behavior exhibited be these two brothers from Pi Kappa Alpha at Tennessee was completely avoidable.

Piece of advice, if you’re going to threaten a pledge who has turned you in for hazing AFTER you get a letter specifically saying don’t threaten the pledge who turned you in, don’t make the threat through text. Texting is permanent. The brothers were arrested for threatening to kill the poor kid, and their mug shots are exactly what you would expect from two frat bros. Their first mistake, though? Pledging a rat.

Beta Alpha Omega, Dartmouth College

The history of raunchy behavior in Dartmouth fraternities is long and storied, and we all know that Animal House was based off its Greek life. This recent incident from October involves the Beta Alpha Omega chapter, which had previously been kicked off campus for some particularly aggressive behavior in the 90s. It's yet another example poorly using technology to frat around.

Beta Alpha Omega had a completely insecure Google Doc that became a catalog of their activities (having pledges list their favorite porn genres) and initiation rituals (encouraging active brothers to make pledges only take one shot at a time). Tsk, tsk Beta Alpha Omega. My fraternity once suggested keeping a digital log during rush of simply positive things we noticed about the pledges, but its cases like these that made me shoot that idea down real quick. The Internet never forgets, you guys.

Sigma Alpha Epsilon, Salisbury University

BroBible covered this recent controversy last week involving an SAE chapter at Salisbury University in Maryland. It lands on this list because these brothers just really seem to love hazing. Like a lot. Like, throw your pledges in a basement for hours on end and force them to listen to ear-splitting German rock bands. They also paddled a poor pledge so hard that he had trouble sitting down. There’s nothing wrong with some loud German rock and paddling, SAE, but fucking tone it down a little. It’s possible to adequately haze pledges without leaving marks or psychological turmoil, you shits.

Pi Kappa Phi, University of Arizona

I have friends who go to Arizona, and their parties are legendary. A lot of their fraternity houses are old apartment complexes or hotels, meaning that parties are massive and usually involve one or two pools. They also tend to happen in broad daylight, with more than a few topless women people doing that thing that happened at a club at KU that one time. I know this for a fact.

It’s no surprise then that the University of Arizona is cracking down. Pi Kappa Phi became their fourth fraternity to be shut down in a year after receiving countless warnings and punishments almost entirely related to alcohol. Nice going, guys! Sorry you got caught. Incidentally, Jimmy Tatro hails from Pi Kappa Phi at Arizona. Coincidence? Absolutely not.

Sigma Alpha Epsilon, University of Texas

Yes, another SAE chapter, this time at Texas. (SAE chapters are notorious for being the deadliest in the country.) Sadly, this Texas case is one of the more recent examples. Tyler Cross, an 18-year-old freshman pledge, was drinking at one of SAE’s parties and fell off a balcony. His parents were later awarded $16.2 million in damages, and rightfully so.

Amazingly, the chapter wasn't kicked off of campus and was even allowed to continue throwing parties. Then a year after Cross’ death, a woman was killed after being hit by a drunk driver leaving an SAE party at Texas A&M. What the fuck.

Beta Theta Pi, Carnegie Mellon University

And to end on a creepy note, this super fucked-up case comes from Carnegie Mellon, one of the eggheadiest of the egghead schools. It turns out, the Betas' house contained hidden cameras which brothers would use to record themselves having sex with girls. They got caught because they sent them to each other. Hmmm.

“Hey bro, check out me fucking this chick.”

“Thanks! I’d love to watch my best friend fuck someone. Fuck porn! Nice ass by the way.”

Anyway, Beta got shut down at CMU. Thank god. Fucking dicks.

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