Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
So you want to be funny around your buddies, but you don’t know how? Maybe you just lack the self-confidence on how to be funny around guys.
I’m not too much of a narcissist considering I’ve lost every fight I’ve ever been in, but I generally consider myself to be pretty funny. My guy-friends think I’m funny (I think) and my mom calls me funny as well as a handsome winner.
I’ve managed to cultivate my deadpan cynicism and strong cultural knowledge into an attitude that is funny around 70% of the time. That’s a passing grade in the educational system so that’s a number I can live with. “Cs get degrees.”
But I mostly believe I’m funny because I know how to NOT be funny. You don’t really have to do anything at all to be funny. All the art boils down to is avoiding common pitfalls like these when it comes to being funny around guys.
Being Too Drunk to Utter Syllables
We don’t care about making ourselves laugh. We don’t sit in front of the mirror telling anecdotes or spouting off quips to heighten our mood. We provide humor for the friends, roommates, neighbors, and hot girls that are around us in a social setting—aka, the drunk people. There’s no better place to show off that charming wittiness than at a good old-fashioned American shitshow.
And let’s face the hard truth: we’re not that funny sober. At social gatherings, sobriety makes you feel insignificant, whereas alcohol makes you feel handsome, funny, and smart. But trying to feel too handsome, funny, and smart can cause serious side effects like vomiting, loss of coordination, and our best friend “the spins.”
Let everyone else be way drunker than you. They won’t remember how funny you are (or who you are probably), but you will wildly enthrall those sloppy single-serving friends for the duration of the party.
Using Absurdly Obscure References
It’s not about knock-knock and Chuck Norris jokes anymore. Those days are dead. With shows like South Park and Saturday Night Live as the hubs of comedy, humor has become equivalent to cultural satire—everyone eats that shit up. From Channing Tatum’s index finger to the lyrics of that incomprehensible Slipknot song, you have to be an intense consumer of culture and current events to have a comic edge.
Obviously I say that with a grain of salt. It’s extremely beneficial to know as much about culture as you can but not all of it is useful during cocktail party conversation. You don’t wanna be the guy discussing utility and obsolescence from the opening scene of Roger Dodger. Of course it’s a great scene, but I’m sure not too many of you have heard of the movie. Speaking of obscure…
Quoting a Book
NEVER DO THIS. EVER. You are cheesin’ on peyote if you think that most people read books all the way through. Sure we have Kindles and iPads and all the shit that makes accessibility easier. But technology still does not detract from the reality that it’s still reading, which requires an unnecessary amount of mental exertion and conjures nightmares from elementary school.
No one that you ever want to make laugh will ever catch a God-forsaken book reference. Also, quoting novels from your intro-level literature classes will just make you look like a sanctimonious shit machine. Recognizable ones like “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” or Gatsby’s “In my younger and more vulnerable years…” are last resorts, but I still don’t see why you’d need them.
Misunderstanding Your Audience
I don’t know about you guys but I love meeting strangers. It’s awkward yet hilariously rewarding if approached the right way. Of course, I’m only talking about when I’m drunk because I hate everyone when I’m sober. I’m that guy who says “no hablo English” when being asked for directions or puts on headphones when I see people selling shit on the street.
When making small talk at a party, it is imperative that you know a little bit about whom you’re talking to before cracking one of your signature zingers. You’ll definitely want to find out if that person’s relative recently passed away before making a joke remotely related to the subject.
Don’t risk looking like the biggest jerk to ever trot the Earth.
Exaggerating An Imitation
Dane Cook has been described by fans as one of the most relevant and inventive comedians of all time. His net worth is estimated to be around $30 million. His “Sneezing Atheist” joke from Vicious Circle has over a million views on YouTube.
Well, I hate Dane Cook. I hate his standup. I hate his movies. I hate his hair. But more than anything else, I hate how 90% of his routine is unnecessary imitations.
You can’t overdo voices, noises, or jerking body movements. It just makes you look like an idiot and it turns the humor directly on yourself if not done in moderation. Cook tried to imitate a washing machine in one of his standups.
It was so bad that he berated himself to compensate for it, which ties into my next no-no…
Making Fun of Yourself
Defeat is everywhere. You will be defeated in nearly all endeavors you try to conquer. Defeat is a pervasive part of life, which is why life sucks so much. How you handle defeat is what really matters. You can take it like a man and use it as a lesson later on, or you can act like a puppy bitch and make yourself look even worse.
Don’t ever do what Dane Cook did. There’s a difference between joking about self-deprecation and acting self-deprecating. Resorting to this makes you look weird and insecure—my final point exactly…
Lacking Confidence
Personalities can be like gravity. If yours is interesting, people drift toward you when you have something to say. These attractive dispositions are perpetuated by people with confidence and articulateness. It’s like selling knives—let them know you have the sharpest one and deliver it. The customer can go anywhere else for the same thing yet they came to you.
But in the grand scheme of things, confidence is way more significant than articulateness.
You can be able to satirically discuss the correlation between Amy Adams’ sideboob scenes in American Hustle and her Golden Globe win, but none of that matters if you can’t do it in a confident manner.
This is the key to not only being funny but to proudly accomplishing anything in life. Sell those knives. Make them want to come back for more.
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