A Virginia Tech student who identified herself as the Hokies' mascot recently sent a letter to the record label Sub-Pop, once the Seattle home of grunge bands Mudhoney, Soundgarden, and, of course, Nirvana, with one simple request: Would Nirvana record a Homecoming Message for her school? It'd really mean a lot if she—and oh fucking A, the student referred to Nirvana as "she"—would record the video. It might even boost the co-ed's chances of winning Homecoming Queen!
The letter contains several things that would drive Cobain to blow his brains out for a second time. It's printed on a stationary that prominently features bunnies and flowers. It asserts that the Homecoming Message would give the band "great publicity," which is something Nirvana really craved during its time in the limelight. It says Nirvana would be on a bill with Big N Rich, the Ying Yang Twins, Slightly Stoopid, and "three NFL players." It's upbeat.
The overall mistake is strange. Nirvana broke up probably before this unknown student was even born, and the separation was, obviously, fairly violent. My only explanation is that the Hokie maybe confused the band with someone like Madonna—a still living one-named singer—which would explain the feminine pronouns. If not, and this isn't just blatant trolling, the letter itself is baffling. Sub-Pop, to its credit, says it will record a video response, possibly in flannel-clad costume.
(By the way, Va. Tech co-ed, just my two cents: You couldn't have written to a more classic case of "overratedness thanks to untimely death." Try writing to someone who didn't have the benefit of going out in a blaze of glory after one good album and one very mediocre one. YEAH, I SAID IT.)