Back to the Dark Ages for the genitalia of the men and women of the University of Tennessee. Oh, THE HORROR! How ever will these young, impressionable minds figure out how to fuck properly without $20,000 worth of SEX WEEK? A better question is who the hell attends any of this shit in the first place? When I was dipping my toe into the sex game I just figured fucking the fuck out by my damn sefl. Wasn't always pretty, but nothing worth doing is ever easy -- my grandmother taught me that.
According to Fox News:
A spokesman for Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam told Fox News that based on the information they had, “we believe this is an inappropriate use of university funds.”
Sex Week is scheduled for April 7-12 and includes 30 events including “Getting Laid,” “Sex Positivity; Queer as a Verb,” “Bow Chicka Bow Woah,” “How to talk to Your Parents About Sex,” “Loud and Queer,” and “How Many Licks Does it Take…” – a workshop about oral sex.
“We should be teaching these children what is important to learn so they can get jobs,” state Sen. Stacey Campfield told Fox News. “I don’t know what jobs they plan on getting if they’re having seminars on oral sex and bondage. I don’t see how that will help someone in their professional career – unless they plan on becoming a porn star.”
The university had allocated nearly $20,000 to fund the week-long salute to sex that also included a poetry-reading lesbian bondage expert and a campus-wide scavenger hunt for a golden condom.
“This is truly an offense to the people of Tennessee,” state Rep. Susan Lynn said on the House floor. “I am offended for the people of my district at the University of Tennessee having sex week.”
I'm not a prude (I think we all know that) but this IS a horrible use of funds. I mean, come on... a scavenger hunt to find a golden condom? Tell you what: if you're at the University of Tennessee, or any other institution that is Sex Week depraved, and you find yourself and your girlfriend sitting on a bed trying to figure out how to fuck each other, Google how condoms work and then hit YouJizz for a quick tutorial about how penises and vaginas work as a cohesive unit. After that, do whatever it takes to cum. If you can't swing that, transfer to Brown, they are throwing full-field bombs when it comes to sex education.
[No Sex Sign via ShutterStock]