This might dissuade you from any future safari adventures: Dr. Thomas McAfee, the former dean of UC-San Diego's medical school about to start a new job at USC, was trampled to death by elephants in Tanzania over the weekend. McAfee was touring at Tarangire National Park when the incident occurred. The staff at the USC Medical Foundation's are naturally in shock.
By now, I have a surprisingly robust track record at BroBible in calling animals out on their shit. Raccoons are dog-attacking douchers. Snakes will bite your penis while you're peeing. Killer whales will murder you EVERYWHERE. Nature is frightening.
And elephants—despite their circus acts, Republican affiliation, and resemblance to Dumbo—aren't cuddly creatures. They charge cars and humans all the time in Africa and Asia, and it's thought that up to 500 people are trampled each year by these enormous brutes.
So, the moral: Say the fuck away from elephants. Go play with your dog instead.