Last week, two Tulane Kappa Sigma pledges attempted to steal every single student newspaper that carried the news of their fraternity's recent drug bust. They did this because the Internet doesn't exist. And that's how you stop information from being spread.
From the Tulane Hullabaloo:
Tulane University Police Department is investigating the theft of more than 2,000 copies of The Tulane Hullabaloo’s Feb. 28 issue from newsstands across the university’s campus on Thursday.
Hullabaloo Distribution Manager James Arney said he first noticed the theft after he had nearly finished delivering the newspapers.
“I came back from Diboll Parking Garage for my second-to-last paper delivery,” Arney said. “I was going to take [the newspapers from the Lavin-Bernick Center] to Reily, and then, I noticed they weren’t there. So I looked in the recycling bin and there were, like, 10 stacks [of papers] in there.”
They would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those rotten kids—namely a newspaper staff writer, who said, “I saw [the members] walking with two stacks of paper in each hand, so I followed them. I saw them open the recycling bins behind Phelps, and one guy threw it in.” And... another newspaper staff writer, who described seeing two guys in hoodies scurry by "with stacks of papers in their hands."
Thus concludes the funniest cover-up attempt ever.
[H/T: Total Frat Move]