If you're over 30, you're excused for having a "Kids these days have it so EASY" attitude toward the recent online dating push. There's such a glut of options out there; a vast swath, if you will, of online fields in which to sow your digital oats. There's OKCupid, which gives young urban types the chance to find a serious partner or a less-than-serious hookup. There's Grouper, which takes away the awkwardness of the one-on-one encounter and allows you to bring two friends as wingmen. There's, what, Eharmony? Match.com? Adultfriendfinder? (I'm just rolling off what I know from TV ads and porn pop-ups at this point.)
Anyway, I think we've now reached the male epitome of online dating, besides Adultfriendfinder which no—I repeat, no—socially adjusted real-life female uses. This past weekend, a new Facebook page called NYU Hook Ups surfaced. Its goal is simple: To set NYU students up with each other, within 24 hours, for a pre- or post-Winter Break hook-up.
How will it achieve this? Confirmed school attendees post anonymous profiles on the group's Wall, which then (maybe) tempt other members into sending a private message. And then it's a piece of cake: After the private message, comes the profile check. And then after the profile check, it's the meet-up party. And then after the meet-up party, it's the dorm room lobby. And then you take to your one-bedroom and freak somebody. (Can I get a toot toot?)
Via the Facebook group:
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO POST A HOOK UP REQUEST, MESSAGE this page with answers to the following questions:
1. your gender
2. your school
3. your year
4. your sexual orientation
5. your race/ethnicity
6. dorm on campus or live off campus
7. description of yourself
8. who you are looking for
9. anything else someone should know
WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU SUBMIT YOUR HOOK UP REQUEST
One of the administrators will anonymously post your message to this page's wall and you'll be able to choose from anyone that that replies to your anonymous post. You can get in contact with them by privately messaging them on Facebook - outside of this Facebook page.
WE STRIVE TO KEEP YOU 100% ANONYMOUS.
OUR GOAL IS TO HOOK YOU UP IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS.
* All posts are anonymous and administrators will only accept posts from current NYU students. We have a 2-step verification process that we use to make sure you are an NYU student. *
* We are not responsible for anything beyond our job, which is to make sure your listing appears on this Facebook page. Be careful with who you hook up with and always make sure to use condoms. *
Normally, I'd say that this page would be around 98% male-populated, but after a solid 30 minutes spent scrolling through these amazing profiles, that doesn't seem to be the case. 95% male, no less. What it lacks in a feminine presence, though, it makes up in laugh-out-loud funny write-ups. Here are 10 of the funnier profiles out there:
Guy who shockingly has no "Likes" yet:
Guy who really should shoot a message to the one girl who liked this:
Guy who is setting his standards admirably high:
Girl who is just tempting you to ignore the racism in the post:
Guy who will probably make you look up the definition of the word "rachet":
Guy who is an alum, but not in that creepy way, I promise:
Guy who really needs to just get laid once, c'mon people:
Guy who... Oh, you got me:
Guy who... Oh, you got me again:
And, finally, admin who seems to be telling us it's working:
[H/T: NYU Local]