John Corrigan’s final column for The Temple News will go down in history – and not in a good way. Titled “Time of the month a time for care,” Corrigan dons his J. Camm mask and tries to advise Bros on how to handle their girlfriend’s periods. Hilarity ensues.
The work in its unaltered glory, can be viewed here. Here are some of the finer lines:
- Conversing with your girlfriend while Aunt Flo is visiting is like navigating through a minefield — anything can set her off.
- Is attending yoga free of judgment really worth all of the pain that comes with being a woman? Maybe Chaz Bono had the right idea.
- She might not be pregnant, but she still demands 7-Eleven jalapeno cream cheese taquitos. Presents, cards and flowers help -- anything to make her feel special.
- Chocolate is supposed to be the miracle drug, but my girl is immune to the powers of Dr. Hershey. Plus, she’s “in the mood.” So take advantage of soothing her aches with a couple pelvic shakes. Don’t expect a quickie, though. Your evening shall be spent nurturing your honey.
- They call it a period, but an exclamation point is more appropriate.
- And now, I pray for jury duty every 28 days hoping that the trial length rivals O.J. Simpson’s.
- Although any man can sympathize with the crotch shots suffered on every episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos, imagine Sandshrew digging in your nether regions like the mini game in Pokemon Stadium.
Love every part of this effort.
[H/T: Temple News]