College
by BroBible Staff on November 14, 2012

Reggie Noble: I’ll be the first to admit that there is probably no “right” answer here. It all boils down to what type of person you are and how you prefer to get your rocks off. I can only tell you that, in my personal experience, both situations can be a hell of a lot of fun if done correctly.

Bedding college chicks is easier than shooting dead fish in a barrel. College isn’t about getting an education, it’s about finding out what type of person you are. And let’s face it; we’re all people who like to fuck. You’ll never, ever find yourself in a situation where there are more uninvolved, physically fit women just begging to be kept company in their beds. Do not blow this unrivaled opportunity to spread your seed liberally (and responsibly, of course). But do it — and this might sound weird — after you get a practice relationship under your belt.

Look, most romantic relationships forged at 18 probably aren’t going to work. Most people lack the emotional maturity to put in the shared sacrifices they require. Still, you don’t want to be a coupling neophyte when you’re 27 and looking to find someone to have your babies. As humans, we learn from mistakes. The earlier you make them in life, the fewer consequences they carry. Usually. WEAR A CONDOM.

If you find someone you like early on in your freshman year, don’t be afraid to test the waters. There will be plenty of time to see what else is out there if it fails. And if it doesn’t, well, that’s a good outcome, too.

I think this route is better than getting serious later on in your college years because it helps avoid the gut-wrenching situation when school ends and you are both going your separate ways. Based on no scientific analysis, but through keen observation, I feel confident saying these types of situations rarely work out. You immediately become a different person when you enter the working world. So too will your mate. Evolving a relationship at that point, especially if it’s a long-distance arrangement, is wrought with all type of pitfalls.

Be cold and calculating. Try it out early and move on. There will plenty of chances to get your numbers up – and to find someone you actually want to be with – post-college.

Something tells me J. Camm’s going to have a much different take. But remember, Bros, I’m looking out for YOUR fragile hearts.


JCamm: “College is the ultimate game of fuck or be fucked. Best four years of your goddamn miserable existence on this shit pile we call earth. A time to chug all life has to offer while learning everything you possibly can — like how you probably don't have HIV although last night you cried yourself to sleep — before the the real world takes a fuckin' dump on your chest. So why the hell would you ever go and ruin it with a girlfriend?”

That's probably what you're all expecting me to say, but, in all honesty, the two choices you have (single or relationship) are separated by a fence, right now I'm straddling that fence to the point of it rupturing my nutbag, but I can't hop off onto either side because while staying single in college is a hoot, having a girlfriend in college isn't the worst idea I've ever heard. Provided you approach it tactfully.

The typical college experience spans four years and I've found that the desire to have an actual relationship — not just a “I put my dick in you and then you show yourself out” relationship — ebbs and flows with each year. My breakdown is below.

Freshman Year
Should you have a girlfriend?: Absolutely-fucking-not. And if you have a long distance relationship lingering from high school you are just the worst. Eighteen-year-old J.Camm was the worst. I hate him and his goddamn cavalier attitude so much. If he only knew then, what he knows now.

Freshman year is the foundation to the next three years of your social life. You want it to be a pillar of strength. You want to be available, for sex, partying, sex. You don't want to be that “sort of cool” guy down the hall that got in a relationship on day one and then realizes he has no friends the moment it ends. Plus, this is your first attempt at living without people (parents) to keep you in line. Why sully that experience?

Sophomore Year
Should you have a girlfriend?: I'd argue this is even worse than freshman year to be in a relationship.

By now, you're a seasoned vet at this college thing. You have droves of friends, a serviceable amount of booty calls and instead of leaving you for older guys, now you're the older guy that freshman chicks want to get with. Their vaginas are your oyster, shuck the shit out of them. Or however that saying goes.

Junior Year
Should you have a girlfriend?: This is your best shot. But don't make any rash decisions till midway through the first semester.

When junior year rolls around you kind of feel like you've done it all. But then it hits you, “I haven't done any of these new freshman chicks!!!” So you do, but then maybe you strike scheduling gold and you finally have a class with that one babe you've seen for the past two years but never had the opportunity to approach. This is your year. This is your chance to have a meaningful relationship that survives past college. Other than the one you've developed with YouJizz.

Senior Year
Should you have a girlfriend?: Probably not, if don't already have one. What's the point? Odd are you'll both move to different cities after graduation anyway. But if you are locked down, staying the course all depends on the current state of your relationship.

So how's it going? Still strong? Or are you worrying that you're missing out on your last hurrah; your dick's swan song? Remember, this is truly one of the last times (there are some moral gray areas) you'll be able to bang freshman chicks and not feel like the town pedophile. Can you handle squandering that for this girl that you may or may not marry one day? Do you even like her that much? You said yourself her mother's no prized cow so what does the future hold for her? It's time to make some tough decisions: Do you sail this ship through graduation or do you capsize the fucking thing for the sake of a belt that has too few notches?

I don't have the answer, everyone is bound going to follow their dick and make their own way, but one thing is for sure, you can leave college with a lot of contempt for your decisions if you don't choose wisely.